Electricity Is Not Our Friend

Thursday, 31 May 2007

Last night, as we were hanging around the house, Mark asked me if I smelled something funny. Now, this town always smells kind of funny, so I said “Well, no.” End of story. (and you’re all thinking, Hmm, that’s really not worthy of my time to read…just wait, dear friends).

This morning, we woke up, had a cup of tea, chatted on the phone for a few minutes, and then noticed that the battery was close to dead. So we put the phone on the charger. Again, really exciting, huh?

A couple hours later, Mark asks again if I smell something funny. It seems to smell oddly electrical, but I assume that it’s something from the steel mills, that was intensified by the rain yesterday. I further apply logic and determine that whatever the smell is, it’s recirculating in our apartment because everything is closed up and the air conditioning was on.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, Mark looks over to see if the phone is done charging and notices, uh, smoke. Smoke not good. He quickly unplugs the charger, but discovers that is not the source of the smoke. Instead, the smoke is wafting up from the receptacle where the air conditioner is plugged in nearby.

Mark kicks into overdrive, and as he tries to unplug the air conditioner, the little plastic adapter that was between the plug and the power strip (yes, it was plugged into a freaking power strip!!!) stretches out like a piece of pulling taffy. We get the plug separated from the adapter, and the adapter separated from the power strip before everything cools off and fuses together permanently.

The air conditioner still works, but one of the prongs on the plug is charred and wiggles like a 6-year-old’s loose tooth. We have recommended that the plug be replaced by a qualified electrician, but the landlady didn’t seem as concerned. She did say that a man will come.

So now we’re afraid to plug anything in. We have no clue how these Soviet-era buildings are constructed, but I’m betting the wiring doesn’t exactly conform to code. Based on no principles of physics whatsoever, we have decided to spread out our gadgets to different plugs in the apartment…cell phone charger in the bedroom, laptop and camera charger on a different outlet in the living room, etc. Everything away from the air conditioner.

Thus begins the search for another outlet that is still within a cord-length of the couch. After a few minutes, we located one behind the piano. Outlets are located at about chair-rail height around here, so that’s not quite as horrible as it sounds. I realized I could reach it, and that I had a good chance of plugging a power strip in there. Mark pulled all the breakable stuff off the top of the piano (I’m a known klutz with things like that…) and I reached behind with the plug of a power strip.

After shoving it around blind for a couple of minutes, I decided I really needed to determine where the holes of the outlet really were. Expecting it to be somewhat like an American outlet, I thought I could brush my fingers across the surface, orient myself to the location of the holes, and then resume my blind efforts to plug this darn thing in.

You guys know where this is going, don’t you? After a couple of seconds of this, I see a spark a millisecond before I feel a nasty zap shoot up my right arm. Yup, like a two-year-old, I stuck my finger in the outlet. A 220 outlet. Ouch.

After I jumped around the apartment, Mark plugged the power strip in…without electrocuting himself. For you worrywarts who wonder if I’m OK, yes. I’m fine. My arm tingled and hurt a little bit for about an hour, but overall, I’m fine. Really. But I have learned that Электричество is not my friend.

Other than attempting to burn down our whole apartment building, not much happened today. Lunch at a new cafeteria…Amstor (the Wal-Mart-like grocery and whatever-else-you-might-want store) also has a cafeteria with pretty darn good food. We went there for efficiency’s sake. We only had about an hour to eat and for the girls to shop for a small birthday gift for one of their caregivers. We also did a little bit of shopping before we picked the girls up, and then a little more after we dropped them off. Ordinary day. Except for the electrocution part. :-)

The Rain In Ukraine Falls Mainly...Somewhere Else?

Wednesday, 30 May

Air conditioning is a blessing from God. Each day here has been hotter than the last, and we are very fortunate to be staying in an apartment that is air conditioned.

We got up early this morning so I could catch up on some writing. We headed into town at about 11, did some shopping and exploring around town, and even found a bank where they spoke English to exchange money! We met up with our driver at 1:00 and drove to the orphanage; Fred and Lisa arrived a couple of minutes behind us.

While we waited, one of the kids from last summer's Fort Wayne group popped into the room where we waited, holding a letter and some photos that she had just received from her family. She was looking for Sveta to translate the letter, but when I looked at it, I realized it was brief enough that Mark and I decided to take a stab at it. We got through almost the whole letter when Sveta arrived. She translated it for real, and we discovered that our translation was pretty darn good!

We learned that the girls had a dance rehearsal at 3:00, so we would only be able to take them to lunch, and then return them to the orphanage. Today, this was a good thing, because it rained for the first time since we've been in Ukraine…and it rained HARD! It had been getting a bit dusty and the pollen and flowers from the trillions of chestnut tress were all over the place, so a good hard rain was just what we needed. It cooled things off just a little bit, too! We were actually pretty happy to see the clouds forming!

After lunch, we lingered at our table in the cafeteria and asked the girls to each give us three words or phrases they wanted to learn in English (they were to tell Sveta in Russian, and the Sveta would tell us in English). Amina immediately told Sveta she wanted to know the English word "lawyer." This kicked off a discussion of what the kids wanted to be when they grew up. Amina she confessed that she didn't want to be a lawyer, just know the word. She actually wants to be a doctor.

Masha's first three answers to the question were "I don't know." Finally, she told Sveta that she wanted to be a teacher of Russian Literature. Kewl. Now we just have to pack a whole suitcase full of books to take home with us…Lena and Chess, we'll take any recommendations you have!

It was just about time to go when a strange old man at the table behind us fell off his chair and lay unconscious on the floor under our table. We were all concerned that something might be wrong (oh, like I dunno, be dead or something), but even the girls looked at him and said "Oh, he's just drunk." With the reports of rampant alcoholism around here, and the dirt cheap liquor prices, I almost expected to see more of this, but honestly, this was our first real drunk of the trip. We all vacated the restaurant, and the manager and a security guy dealt with him quickly.

We dropped the girls back at the orphanage in time for dance practice, and then picked up our laptop and went to Papa Karlo's for some quality time with their WiFi. Nothing eventful, just a quiet evening spent resting up and reading. I have to admit that I'm amazed how much energy it takes to accomplish what seems to be so little in a day. Write, Shop, Eat, Read. Not hard stuff. But at the end of each day, we're completely beat.

 

Tomorrow looks to be another light day; the girls have their last day of school tomorrow morning, we will have them for lunch and a short shopping expedition to purchase a card and small birthday gift for one of their caregivers, and then they have the last dance rehearsal before their big performance…The orphanage is hosting an all-day extravaganza on Friday to thank the community for their support. Apparently, the kids have a major show planned (hence all the dance rehearsals), and they will have a sale of some items that the children have made, with the proceeds going back to them for toys, books, etc. We are really looking forward to this!

 

Court

Tuesday, 29 May

So….we’ve been doing a lot of hanging out with the kids, and many of you are probably thinking “why aren’t they doing anything that’s actually related to adopting Masha and getting back home?” Yeah, we’re thinking that, too.

In the Ukrainian system, once we “meet” the child, there are some documents to prepare, and then a court date is requested, and the hearing is usually held about a week later. Because we got to the region on a Friday, and we weren’t able to do anything over the weekend, our documents weren’t ready until Tuesday of last week. Since then we had been asking about our court date; the answers were always pretty vague, but seemed to land on “Maybe Wednesday.”

We had at one time been told that there was a possibility it would be on Tuesday (today), and that regardless of the day, it would be at 11:00. I find it very very strange that we could get a solid time, but not a date, but I’m learning not to ask questions about these things….things are just done differently around here!

The risk manager in me kicked in when I woke up this morning, and I thought, “Gee, I have some free time, perhaps I should iron our clothes for court now rather than wait until the last minute.” And boy am I glad I did.

As I was finishing up Mark’s shirt at about 10:00, our phone rang. Mark was in the shower, taking advantage of working hot and cold water, so I answered it. It was Sasha calling us from Kiev to tell us that our court hearing was in one hour, and that Sveta would be calling us to arrange to pick us up. ACK!

Sasha prepared me a little for what to expect from the hearing, and then as I hung up with him, Sveta called to tell us she would pick us up in 20 minutes. We kicked into overdrive! I’ve never done hair, makeup, and dressed so fast in my life.

We arrived at the courthouse at about 10:45, and we were surprised to see Masha arrive with the psychologist from the orphanage. Sveta had told us that she had written a letter to the judge, and would not be present for the hearing. Turns out the the judge had called the orphanage that morning and wanted to speak with Masha himself…so there she was!

Our official translator arrived and gave us another quick briefing on what to expect. The hearing should last 15 minutes to a half hour, and we would be asked some basic questions. We were advised to keep our answers SHORT (you all know how hard that is for me!). We were told that if there were any problems, we wouldn’t have reached this point…that all of our documents were in order and that everything should go smoothly.

Our translator did a great job of keeping us informed of what was going on and what was being asked of us throughout the proceedings, but things were not quite as quick as we had expected. After asking us some basic information, and clearing up some confusion about where Mark was born (seems there’s no good Russian translation for “Kankakee”), they moved on to Masha. Masha’s history is a little complicated, and the judge had to read it all into record from the documents first. Then he asked Masha to stand, and asked her several questions about her family and the conditions she lived in before coming to the orphanage, whether she preferred the orphanage to living with her relatives, and whether she wanted to be part of our family. It was very difficult for her, but she is a trooper, and she handled it very well.

After Masha, the orphanage psychologist testified again about Masha’s history and how she came to the orphanage, how it affected her, and how being in our family would be good for her. Next was the assistant to the Mayor of the city, who had been very involved in the court cases to protect Masha. She again rehashed the history from her perspective, and explained how she had met us and was very happy that Masha had found a family to love her. Masha’s social worker then testified about how we had met and that she recommended that the adoption be approved. Finally, the prosecutor (who looked very bored) explained that everything was in order and he had no legal objections to the adoption.

After an hour in a very hot, stifling courtroom, the judge approved our petition to adopt Masha, and told us that the decision would be final in 10 days. As people stood up, everyone finally smiled and congratulated all of us, and we were able to hug Masha as her almost-real Mama and Papa.

In the whirlwind of arrival and the rush to get out of there, we didn’t get any pictures of the courtroom. We had wanted to get a photo of us with the judge, but it just didn’t happen….Oh well.

After court, Sasha took us back to the apartment to change clothes (Mark was dying in an undershirt, long-sleeved dress shirt, and jacket), and then we headed back to the orphanage. We hung out while Sveta worked on some more documents, and then we found out that the girls had dance rehearsal mid-afternoon, so we wouldn’t be able to take them out for lunch. We all played outside for a bit, and then Fred, Lisa, Mark and I all went into town for pizza. We were attempting to order for ourselves when we heard a voice boom “You guys need some help??” from behind us.

An American man and a Ukrainian woman walked up and introduced themselves…they were engaged, and he was in town for a few months working on getting a fiancée visa for her to come back to the States. They helped us order our pizzas and we exchanged phone numbers. There aren’t many Americans around here, so I’m guessing that he was even more excited to hear English than we were to hear him! We were careful to not tell him exactly why we were here…we’ve been advised to not share too much, but I suspect that he can put two and two together and figure out why two American couples are “tourists” in a far corner of Ukraine….
After lunch, we walked around a little shopping “Mall” and bought another couple of Frisbees (our goal is now to actually purchase every Frisbee in town, and we’re making progress), and then met Sasha for a drive back to the orphanage. Just after we got there, Sveta was able to talk with the Director, and got permission to take the girls out later than usual so we could go see Shrek III at the local theatre. She gave us the OK just 10 minutes before the show started, so we raced back into town, bought tickets and settled in just as the show was beginning.

Side note: Movie theatres in Ukraine have assigned seating. Confused the crap out of us when they lady was asking where we wanted to sit, and even more when we got into the theatre and people were sitting in our seats. We sat where we felt like sitting, and all was well.

Following the movie, we took the girls back and then headed home, exhausted. We made dinner, watched a movie, and crashed.

Plan B

Monday 28 May

After our first trip back to the apartment about a week ago, Sveta had told us that we were encouraged to spend more time outside, and that we needed to wait a little while before scheduling another “at home” day. A few days ago, she told us that it would be OK again. So today, we had planned to spend some Niles Family Time together at our apartment making lunch, working on English, playing some games and generally hanging out.

We started the day at Amstor and got a cartload of groceries, as well as the second Harry Potter DVD (in Russian, of course). We found everything we wanted except for pancake syrup, so we considered the trip a success until we got in line. We will never again complain about the intellectually challenged checkout personnel at Meijer!! If any of you catch me doing this, just say “Remember Amstor” and I’ll shut my mouth tight!

Mark knew something was wrong when he left me in line so he could go get the DVD, and I was in exactly the same place when he came back. The store was very busy, and all the lines were long, but they seemed to be moving well…except for ours. Once we got up to the front we realized why. Even though the main scanner appeared to work, the checkout girl seemed to have no concept that it could be used unless something accidentally scanned as she picked it up (which happened a couple of times).

The conveyor was to her right. She would reach across and pick up an item with her left hand, slowly and deliberately locate the barcode on the item, then pick up the hand scanner with her right hand, scan the item, set down the scanner, send the item on down to us to be bagged, and then start on the next one. Even when we had four of the same thing, this happened each time.

It took us 25 minutes to get through the line.

Once done, we quickly ran back to the apartment, unloaded the groceries into the fridge/freezer and ran back down so we could meet Sveta at the orphanage around 12. We arrived at the orphanage to learn that we would not be allowed to bring Masha back to the apartment because of some concerns that neighbors might see us with her. It is VERY unusual for us to spend as much time as we have with the kids and to take them off orphanage grounds; most families are allowed to spend an hour or two a day with their child at the orphanage, and they usually aren’t given any access to even see any of the other children, let alone play with them. This orphanage is very special and very committed to helping us develop bonds with the kids, but they are also concerned that they don’t encounter any problems because they are doing things differently from how they are usually done.

We didn’t have a backup plan for how to spend the day, and I got a little annoyed about having my “project assumptions” turned upside down like that (perhaps I should have written a Statement of Work for our visits?). And then Sveta asks us “So what do you want to do?” We are quickly learning that our options are: 1) Eat Lunch, 2) Go to the Park, or 3) Go get ice cream. We decided to go to the cafeteria with Lisa and Fred, and then to split up for a while.

We discovered that Lisa had done some great preparation of English lessons so we quickly jumped onto their bandwagon, and did a little bit of English as we were finishing up lunch. We worked on some basic emotion words like “happy,” “sad,” “confused,” and “frustrated.” We moved over to the park that just a couple of blocks away, and continued with a little bit more English. Masha was pretty pouty and resistant, but went along with it while the other kids were there….We are learning that English (and studying in general, probably) is going to be one our biggest challenges with her. She commented later that she wasn’t good in school and that she thought she couldn’t learn it. She seems to be very much like me…if she doesn’t get something quickly, she gets frustrated and angry at it, but if she does get it quickly, she rocks through it and is bored. Finding a balance of challenging her, but setting her up for success will be, um, an opportunity for us and her teachers….(insert seasoned parental advice here, please???)

We also had on the plan for the day to go shoe shopping. A few days before, Masha had requested some sandals with a heel strap that she would be able to run in, so we had arranged with Sveta to go shopping. Masha was in quite the unpleasant mood by the time we got to the store, but I’m actually glad that she was pouty and that shopping didn’t change that. It showed her that we don’t buy things for her just when she’s nice, and it also showed that shopping for things isn’t supposed to “cheer you up” or buy love and sweetness. An odd opportunity, but still an opportunity.

We had arranged to spend some time with just the three of us at the park, and we got back there about the time that Lisa and Fred and their girls were leaving. When Masha learned that her friends were leaving and that Sveta wouldn’t be staying with us either, she toppled over the edge. She sat on the park bench in her new shoes and stared straight ahead with tears streaming down her face. This is sooo hard for her. She is used to having other kids around 24/7, and she is totally out of her comfort zone, as are we.

We found an open spot and tried to play a little bit to get a smile out of her, and after a few minutes, she asked to watch a little bit of a video on the computer. We found a shaded bench, and watched 20 minutes of Toy Story 2 (in English). That seemed to give her enough time to calm down a little, and she had a better attitude when we returned to our little clearing to play catch. We tried to reinforce some verbs, like “catch,” “throw,” and “drop” (Mama showed many good examples of drop!) while playing, and while she wouldn’t repeat the words, she did start smiling.

We all returned to the orphanage a little early so we could play with all the kids and the girls grabbed the cameras and took kitten pictures. As we left, Mark said to Masha “I am sorry you were sad today,” and she replied “It’s OK” and gave him a big hug. I guess she’s just 12!

We left, and went to Papa Karlos to get a bite to eat, check email, and upload the past couple of days blog entries, but just as I was logging in to post, the internet connection went down. Typical! When it became clear that it wasn’t coming back up, we said goodbye to Fred and Lisa and headed back to the apartment.

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie…

Sunday, 27 May

Even after a full night’s sleep, we are still waking up tired. A combination of being in the sun, and being hot, and sleeping on beds that we are not accustomed to…

Shortly after we woke up, Sveta called to tell us that she had spoken with the Director on last night, and she had suggested that we all take the girls to the beach today. She said that the girls had swimsuits, so we just needed to bring towels and entertainment. Mark took a quick walk around the neighborhood to see if he could pick up a set of trunks, as neither of us brought a swimsuit, but he didn’t have much luck.

Sasha picked us up at 12:15, and we managed to communicate to him that we needed to exchange some money. He tried three places before they found one that was open, but we had cash again…helpful if you want to eat around here, as pretty much no one takes credit cards.


Fred and Lisa arrived at the orphanage with Sveta about the same time, and the girls appeared a couple of minutes later, with bathing suits under their clothes. I noticed the strap of Masha’s bathing suit was tied funny, and Masha explained that she had done that so that the other kids wouldn’t see it under her clothes and get jealous that they couldn’t go the beach….Maybe she did get out point from yesterday; that was very considerate of her! She also used that opportunity to let us know that the bathing suits here were two-piece rather than the one-piece suits we were used to in America, so that we would not be surprised when we got there.

We decided to get some pizza for lunch, and then were off to the beach. As the girls started removing layers of clothes, we saw that Amina had a really cute two-piece with a flap on the top that covered her belly, and Khrystyna’s had pretty good coverage as well. Then off came Masha’s dress. And all the blood rushed out of my head. There, on my little 12-year-old daughter, was the ittie bittiest, teenie weeniest blue string bikini I had ever seen. The only consolation was that it wasn’t a thong!

We quickly rushed her into the water so Mark and I could get over our shock. We all agreed that photos should only be taken from the neck up, and that Mark needed to start polishing his baseball bat. Lisa and I discussed techniques for explaining modesty in the US culture. But overall, the girls had a great time, and I guess we sorta got used to it. All the important parts were covered up. It wasn’t what we would have chosen for her, and we will have the opportunity to correct that starting in a couple of weeks. Until then, we just go with the flow.

For you culture-watchers out there…there were only a couple of topless women at the beach. The men, though, pretty much all wore little tiny speedos, and most of them do not have the physique to pull it off!

The other odd element of this beach—it was placed adjacent to a large shipyard for one of the steel mills. It was very strange to be a couple hundred yards from an active shipyard, and to see the various container ships lined up in the channel waiting to come in to the yard.

So the girls played in the water, and played in the sand. At one point, Masha grabbed something off the beach and started digging a hole. As soon as Mark saw it, he stopped the digging…it was an old rusty tuna can. Suspecting that the Director might get upset if we sent her back with tetanus, Mark removed the can, and let the girls continue digging with their hands. They dug a very respectable hole, and when the guys asked if they were digging a hole to China, they replied, “No, America!”

Time at the beach flew by quickly, and it was soon time to head back. As Masha was drying off, she began complaining that she had water in her ear. Shaking her head and pounding on it (my preferred techniques) weren’t working. So Sveta gets an idea. She looked at me with a total straight face, and asks “Do you have a stick?” Like I’m gonna rip a stick off a tree and cram it in my daughter’s ear? (In her defense, she meant a Q-tip, but didn’t know what to call it!)

No Q-tips available, Sveta’s issued an edict that all car windows in both cars should be closed for the trip home, since everyone had wet heads. Keep in mind that it’s about 87 degrees out, and these cars do not have air conditioning. Heat notwithstanding, we all piled into the cars and headed back to the orphanage with the windows closed. I started getting really sick in the car on the way there, but it’s a small price to pay to prevent, um, ….well, something.

We did learn that Masha had been at a camp last summer where we won some swimming competitions, and that she was interesting in joining a swim team when we get back home. Anyone who knows anything about the swimming scene in Fort Wayne, please drop me an email?

We got to talking a little more about what else she likes, and while she wouldn’t volunteer anything, she did also answer that she liked camping when we asked. So that can go on the list of things to do when we get home! The upside of horrible Ukrainian public restroom facilities is that even the pit toilets in the “rustic” campgrounds will be ok with her….hopefully!

After we droped her off, we headed back home for a shower and a little nap before getting together with Lisa and Fred for dinner. We decided to try a restaurant near our apartment that seemed popular. We were thrilled when we walked in to find it almost chilly—air conditioning is something we’ve really come to appreciate!

Upon learning our challenges with the Russian language, the waitress was very kind and accommodating, she helped us through the menu using her limited English and pointing and miming. Everything was going pretty well until she pointed out the chicken. One chicken dish contained a chicken leg or thigh…and then the next was chicken breast. The poor woman turned crimson as she said chicken and then quickly waved her hand across her chest and then burst into laughter! We all howled, but we got the idea! We thought it would be better to not order the Chicken Chest!

We had a lovely adult dinner with just the four of us, and it was really nice to just be able to have a fun evening with friends. It’s really surprising how much energy this takes. It doesn’t seem like we are doing all that much. We have time to sleep in, we don’t do much in the evening. But it takes a lot of energy to function in such a different environment, to build parent-child bonds with kids who don’t speak English, and to deal with so many unknowns. It tests your patience and flexibility, but it’s worth every bit!