Two Months

It's days like this that make life worth living. This morning, as we ate breakfast and bid my father and step-mother goodbye, Maria announced that she would like to go to Extreme Park. We told her that it might be a little expensive to fly all the way to Ukraine to go to Extreme Park in her hometown, but that we could maybe go to Fun Spot in Angola if she wanted...

School starts next week, so we were thinking about a last hurrah already. When she offered to pay for her own ticket out of her allowance, we realized she was serious!

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. We are finally wrapping up the Twelve Days of Birthday. Thursday marked the final day of YMCA Day Camp, Friday brought shopping day with Nana. Maria will have three well-deserved days at home before starting sixth grade on Thursday.

She is facing this newest challenge with an appropriate mixture of anticipation and terror. She has taken the first tour of school, picked up her books, walked through her schedule, and learned her locker combination.

We will take her back to school on Tuesday to walk through the building one more time and meet with her guidance counselor to ask any questions that might be bugging her. She will have another girl in her grade who also speaks Russian, so she can help explain the subtleties of middle school culture. Further, all the kids in her sixth grade class are new to this school, so they will all be getting lost in the halls for the first week!

We expect the first few months to be challenging, but Maria is well equipped to meet that challenge head-on, and to beat it with a little time and patience!

Overall, things are going well. Maria is learning English very quickly...she is spontaneously using "cool" and "awesome" appropriately. She eats nearly everything in sight. She loves Hannah Montana and High School Musical. A pretty typical kid.

Of course, we have our teenage moments, but the battles we are having hardly differ from the ones you veteran parents have always been fighting. Occasionally, she shares a word or comment that reminds us of the trials she has faced in her short life; this is a gentle reminder to balance discipline and structure with love and fun. And I guess that's what being a parent is all about.

One Month

So much for "Update the Blog once a week" on my task list! Despite every effort to keep our schedule manageable and to avoid over-stimulation, I'm finding that there are no moments to spare. I thought we were busy before…

All of you parenting veterans will laugh your tails off at me, but I'm still holding onto the shred of hope that as Maria settles in and learns more English, she will become a little more independent, and I won't feel as obligated to be there ALL the time. I also suspect that as that happens, I'll get scared of her slipping away too fast and then really want to be there ALL the time. Laugh all you want, but you all have had the luxury of easing into this!!

All in all, I can't complain. We arrived home exactly one month ago, and Maria is settling in much better than we ever could have hoped. She is learning English very quickly, and has a good attitude about it most of the time. We are learning what works and what doesn't. We are not photographing every moment of our lives. We're settling into a routine, culminating last week with both of us returning to work and Maria beginning to attend Day Camp.

Today, I'm taking my first business trip since our return (and using the uninterrupted "quiet time" on the flight to write this). It's only a 2-day trip, but the tempest of emotion kept me up half the night. I thought perhaps this would be my equivalent to other mothers' "first day of kindergarten" stories…sobbing as I walked away from my little girl for the first time. Instead, it was the responsibility of the new routine that chewed my guts up and spit them back out. The worry of the things I should have done and didn't. We're out of milk. I didn't freeze a water bottle to keep her lunch cool. Is there a forgotten load of laundry molding in the washer?

I trust Mark. I am confident in his ability to keep things running in my absence. In fact, I suspect that Dad and his Little Girl will have a blast in my short absence (not literally, I pray). I just feel like I'm forgetting more than one something. I just have to remember that as long as he knows how to toast an Eggo (and he is capable of much, much more), the child will not go hungry!

So, aside from today's angst, things are great! Over the past month, we have been keeping very busy. We've visited Fun Spot amusement park (the bigger-than-Ukraine-but-small-for-America "Extreme Park"). We've made the 3-hour drive to visit cousins Morgan, Dylan, and Gavin and spend a day at The Beach waterpark in Cincinnati. We've seen fireworks for Independence Day. And we've been swimming. Oh, man, have we been swimming. Hardly a day goes by that we don't swim…the YMCA membership has been well worth the expense!!!

Maria has begun a short series of private swimming lessons, intended to catch her up so that she will be prepared for the Youth Conditioning team in the fall--a precursor to swim team season, which I've been told start in December. Her first lesson was last Friday, and we have been blessed with an instructor who has been an ESL tutor in a former life…so in addition to learning proper technique and strokes, we're learning the English words that Maria will hear from coaches and team members (well, the appropriate, sport-related ones anyway!) She is soaking it all in, and practicing her streamline glides to perfection.

We have a school tour scheduled for Wednesday so she can meet her guidance counselor, start learning her way around, and get mentally prepared for school to start in mid-August. We are still discussing grade placement with the school, and have not discussed school plans in-depth with Maria yet. We are pleased to see that her anxiety about school seems to be waning a bit, and at times she even seems excited about school starting. We'll see how long *that* lasts!

So I'll say it again (knock on wood), all is well. We are happy, she is healthy. Before we know it, summer will be over and school will have started. Pray for us!!!!

Re-entry

Wow....a lot has happened in the last week. First, let me again thank all of you for your encouragement, support, love, and prayers. We never could have gotten through this phase of the adventure without each and every one of our family and friends!

We left for the airport on Friday morning, and arrived with plenty of time to spare. Igor, our driver, delivered us to the checkin area at the airport and wished us well. We met another couple heading back with their newly adopted son, and had a nice chat while we waited. Our luggage came in just under the weight limit, and we thought we were off for a great day. Then we went to passport control.

We stood in line there for quite a while, and when we stepped up to the counter, we handed over the package of adoption documents that our facilitator gave us. Well, apparently, the passport control guy didn't think that was good enough. We did not have an original of the court judgement, and he really thought we needed that.

We were pulled out of line and passed to a supervisor. We had about an hour before our flight, but we were a little concerned. Mark tried to call Sasha, but we only had 2 grivna left on our pay-as-you-go phone...it was just enough to send a text message, so Mark sent a concise "CALL ME" to Sasha.

A couple of minutes later, our phone rang, and Mark explained the situation to him. We got him on the phone with the supervisor, who had passed our little problem on to HIS supervisor and was awaiting a decision. After several very tense minutes of heavy prayer, they allowed us through, just in time to hop on our plane.

We had an uneventful 3-hour flight from Kiev to Amsterdam, and boarded the fight to Detroit on time. Shortly after take-off, we discovered that the on-demand video system on the plane was not working properly, and Masha was pretty frustrated when she clicked to get Dora the Explorer and ended up watching Freedom Writers. Not exactly the same. We popped a movie into the laptop, and she watched that until they got the system fixed about 3 1/2 hours later. She watched the Nickelodeon shorts channel while Mark and I both watched Breach, and we were all happy.

We landed on US soil right on time, and passed through immigration faster than you could say "Brand New Citizen." The guys that processed Masha's immigrant visa were really friendly and welcoming, and Masha got to sign her name as a US Citizen for the first time.

Once we cleared through customs and rechecked our luggage, we found a spot at the food court just below the World Club and hijacked the free WiFi connection for a couple of calls home. We had some french fries and ice cream, and then wandered over to our gate.

During our stops in both Amsterdam and Detroit, Masha discovered the joy of moving sidewalks. Every time she hopped onto one, she had a gleeful grin on her face. She experimented with standing, walking backward, and letting her elephant ride along the handrail. I will never ride another one without remembering that smile and the joy that filled me to watch her.

Anyway, we made the short hop from Detroit to Fort Wayne with no problems, and arrived to see a whole bunch of familiar faces greeting us at the airport! After being awake and on the go for nearly 24 hours, we were pretty bleary, but thrilled to be home.

Since then, we've done about 24 loads of laundry, unpacked a million souvenirs, and generally settled back into American life. We've gone to Wal-Mart, we have updated the Y membership, dropped clothes off at the cleaners, and applied for Masha's new library card.

On Tuesday, as we wandered around Wal-Mart for the third time in three days, Masha looked at me with pleading eyes, and said "Home?" We stayed home all day yesterday!

Overall, we are settling in well. Masha is doing great with her English...we haven't gotten the phrasebook out yet. She is settling in really well, and we couldn't be happier. We know that it's still the honeymoon, and it won't always be perfect, but for now, we're just enjoying each day as it comes.

As I write this, Masha is lying on the floor wrapped up in a blanket, watching The Incredibles with Shead on her lap. That's what it's all about!

The Midnight Train to Kiev

Tuesday and Wednesday, 12-13 June

Since Tuesday rolled into Wednesday on an overnight train, my memories are equally fuzzy, hence one joint blog entry.  Yesterday morning, we got up bright and early.  The hot water was still out in our building, so we filled the tub with four inches of cold water, and then boiled four big stockpots of water and dumped it in.  Made for a decent emergency bath.

Once we no longer smelled like homeless people, we finished packing and loaded up the car at about 9:30.  Our facilitator had arranged for a larger car to drive us to the capital so there'd be room for our luggage….we got a station wagon that was about the size of a Saturn.  It was packed to the top once all of our stuff was in it—we are up to eight bags of various shapes and sizes!

We picked Lisa up on the way to the orphanage, and the girls came bopping out as soon as we arrived.  Masha looked so cute in her outfit from Babushka Sam, complete with glittery belt!

The Director invited us into her office, and said some very kind words to wish us well in the future.  We asked a few questions about how often Masha could call to speak with the Director and her friends, and the director shared some more information about Masha's friend Lena.  The Director inscribed a very nice book for Masha, and then called her in to say goodbye.  Many hugs and kisses later, we were in the car and on the road.

Once we got on the highway, I called Northwest to arrange our flights.  WE ARE GOING HOME ON FRIDAY!!!!!!   Thanks to all of your supportive prayers, the fare difference for each of our tickets was only about $130 extra (plus the change fee). That still worked out a lot better than the adoption fares offered by Northwest.  

The kind agent at Northwest also found the least expensive alternative for Masha's flight…she is booked on a round trip with us, and we can just abandon the return.  For those of you starting to plan your budgets, this is high season, so it probably won't go too much more than we paid, and will start going down again in the fall/winter.  With just a 3-day notice, her ticket was a little over $1,000.  Could have been MUCH worse!!! 

We arrived in the capital at about 12:30, and immediately went to the records office to get her new birth certificate.  We had about 30 minutes after it was complete before we could go to the passport office, so we hung out in a shaded parking space for a while.  This is one of the "boring" days.  We gave Masha her new MP3 player, and she had it figured out in no time.  That took the edge off the waiting for her!  Mark and I sat and watched chocolate melt.

We had her passport in hand a little before 3:00, and then we realized that our train didn't leave until 7.  Hmm….We now have four hours to kill in a city that no one knows all that well.  We all decided we were starving to death, and Sveta suggested McDonalds. 

McDonald's smells like McDonald's the world around.  For a moment, it felt like heaven to smell the greasy burgers and French fries, and to see familiar color schemes and logos.  Mark got a Big Mac and announced that it tasted exactly like a Big Mac!  But there were still differences.  The good:  They sell these cheese sticks with a sweet berry sauce that looked really good (Sveta got some).  The bad:  they charge for ketchup and mayonnaise!

We killed a good bit of time there, and I found a very clean public restroom with *normal* toilets…not the hole in the floor kind…WOOHOO!  (is that too much information??)  When we wore out our welcome beneath the Golden Arches, we headed over to a mall that our driver knew about.  There was a playground outside, so we hung out there until it started to rain.  We explained to Masha that we were only looking, not buying.  Didn't stop her from asking for things, but she accepted "no" pretty well!

Before we knew it, it was time to head for the train station.  Sveta and our driver helped us get our luggage up into the cabin, and Sveta gave Masha instructions to help us and be good.

Once the train pulled out of the station, we fired up the laptop to watch "Happily Never After" in Russian.  We took a break to eat dinner from the giant sack of food that I brought (next time, I will know that one can purchase train snacks at one of several stores near the train station)., then finished the movie, made up our beds, and went to sleep.

This train actually had air conditioning in the compartment, but it was little unpredictable.  Overall, this train was quite a bit nicer than the train we took to Masha's city three weeks ago….and it really helped to be able to keep the compartment door closed to keep sound and light out.  I will repeat myself again….Air conditioning is a wonderful thing!!!

Mark and I were both wondering how the first full day away from the orphanage with our daughter would be.  Would she be happy?  Would she be sad?  Would she be some of both?  We were both very happy by the end of the day to see that Masha was happy and content.  We both reflected on how this experience has been one of the most wonderful and life changing experiences in both of our lives!

The train arrived right on time this morning, and as Mark was trying to wrestle one of our big duffel bags out from under the bench seat, he popped up, and there was our driver standing in the doorway!  It was nice to see a familiar face, and nicer to see one that could help carry luggage!

This time, we were in a 2-door Mitsubishi "jeep-like" car, and I have no idea at all how we fit into it!  Masha and I each sat on a side, our behinds half up the wheel wells, and Mark crammed in between us.  Our luggage somehow all fit in, one thing piled on top of another and another.

We had a few minutes to kill before the medical clinic opened up, so Sasha announced that we would go to McDonald's for breakfast.  No McD's for well over a month, and then twice in 18 hours!  AAARRRRGGGHHHH!  This time, we hit the drive through, named "McDrive."  Not kidding.

Sasha suggested that we figure out what we wanted before we got up to the window, and so we asked what all was on the breakfast menu.  Sasha replied "No special menu, just the regular food."  Mark:  "You mean like Big Macs and Frech Fries for breakfast?"  Sasha: "Yes, of course."  Like eating a Big Mac was a great way to start the day.  Masha got a Coke and fries.  I got a Diet Coke and fries.  Mark got a Diet Coke.  This is a great start for our new attempts to eat healthy and set a good example for our daughter…NOT!

After sharing our fries with some of the stray birds flying around the parking lot, we all piled back into the car, and drove to the medical clinic.  There weren't too many people there, and we ran into one of the families from the Indianapolis hosting program there.  Masha got through her exam, and only needed one vaccination to be able to immigrate. 

We made the mistake, though, of trying to take advantage of a bi-lingual doctor to explain what was in her records about the surgery she had last January.  The doctor interpreted this to "worry" on our part, rather than just information-gathering.  Because we were "worried," the doctor became "worried" and decided that Masha also needed a chest x-ray to be sure she didn't have tuburculosis.  If anyone can explain how a swollen lymph glad indicates TB, I'd be interested to know!

Needless to say, we were at the medical clinic a lot longer than we expected, and it was chock full o' people by the time we left.  The doctor had agreed that there appeared to be nothing wrong with her, and provided docs for a clean bill of health.

From there, we drove over to the US Embassy.  We needed to get a new photo of Masha from a nearby photo shop, and then Sasha took us to the guardhouse at the Embassy.  Even though we are still in Ukraine, it was comforting to be on American soil for a short time.  The security checkpoint was pretty thorough, and we were not allowed to bring anything but our documents with us…no purse, no cell phone, etc.  Mark was able to carry his wallet, but that was about it.  They wanded each of us (including Masha) after we passed through the metal detector.  They even x-rayed my accordion file with our documents in it.

The adoptions department was in a far corner of the building, but it was all very clearly marked.  When we got there, we were helped by two young American women whose parents were both posted in Kiev…apparently being a consulate staffer's kid entitles you to a summer job at the consulate.  They were both VERY helpful and enthusiastic about helping us.  They answered the last couple of questions we had on our paperwork, and we turned everything over to them.

We waited in a nice waiting area that had some kids books and toys, and a water dispenser.  No snacks or sodas to speak of, so make sure you don't go in hungry like we did…we were ready to gnaw our arms off when we got out a couple hours later, but it was worth it.  The consular officer that we met with was very helpful, and promised that Masha's visa would be ready for us tomorrow morning…this is the last piece of paperwork that we need before we can head home as a new family!

Once we left the embassy, we headed to the suburbs to our new apartment.  This time, we are staying with a woman named Svetlana and her grandson in a very large two bedroom apartment.  Svetlana made us a late lunch of chicken soup and vareniki (yummy).  Mark hopped online for a few minutes while Masha taught me how to play Uno, and then we watched a Harry Potter movie on the laptop. 

After dinner, Masha dressed up her magnetic paper-doll and took photos of all the new outfits, then she did the same with the two Barbies we brought for her.  She planned out her clothes for the next couple of days (including requesting our hostess to do a load of laundry for her).  She finally settled down for a bedtime snack of an apple (after a KitKat was vetoed).

 

Headed to Kiev!

Monday June 11th

Our last full day.  We had recently become less diligent with our "shower whenever you can" strategy; the water hadn't gone off in nearly a week. However, we woke up to find that our hot water was out again.  We made do, and Lisa arrived at our apartment about 10:30.

We all met with Olga, the matroshka artist, and then wandered out to show Lisa the bookstore and a couple of shops near our house.  When we got back to the apartment, we gobbled up the leftover borsch…it was really nice to have a lunch guest!  Lisa's driver picked us up just before 2:00 and we headed over to the orphanage. 

We have learned that several of the kids in the girls' groupa attended a week-long camp near the sea last week, and were leaving again tomorrow for another camp…It sounds like these camps are pretty common summer activities for the older kids, and from their reports, they have a great time.  Last summer, Masha won a swimming race!

Because so many of the kids would be gone later in the week, it was decided that Masha, Khrystyna, and Amina would have a joint going-away party.  Normally, these parties include a dance/singing performance for the parents, and then some fruit and juice for the kids.  Since we had been able to see the big 1 June celebration performance, everyone decided it was best to forego the performance, and just have an informal "hangout" time in the girls' rooms.

We also brought gifts for the key people at the orphanage, including the Director, Assistant Director, Doctor, Nurse, Psychologist, and Social Worker, and the six caregivers for Masha's group.  We began by meeting with the Director.  She shared some thoughts and best wishes for us, and asked yet again that we be sure to keep in frequent touch and keep her updated on how Masha was doing.  We presented her with a gift to show our thanks…we gave her a handmade necklace that we had brought from Fort Wayne, as well as some chocolates and a couple of other small things.

After that, we presented the Assistant Director's gifts (similar stuff, but a little smaller) and then we took the fruit and juice up to the girls dorm area.  As soon as we walked in, they swarmed us!  We put all the fruit down on a couple of tables, but the kids found us much more interesting!

We gave Masha her clothes for tomorrow, and a small purse with some hair ties and a new watch—She had broken a watch early during our trip and we got her a pink bangle watch to replace it.  Since we knew that she would need to leave that at the orphanage, we picked another one up for her. 

As this was all going on, we noticed that Masha's best friend wasn't in the room.  We stuck our heads around the corner and found her sitting by herself in the next room looking very sad.  Masha went in with her new stuff, and we gave her friend a small stuffed toy that said "I love you" when you squeezed it.  We all hugged on her a lot while she cried.  When Masha saw the new watch in the bag we had given her, she got the other one and put it on her friend's wrist (along with the Dora watch from Masha's US trip).  They seemed connected by their matching watches, and her friend started to cheer up.

Mark had brought the laptop up, so he fired it up and let the all the girls look at the photos and videos that we had taken during our trip.  They really enjoyed the videos, and watched some of them over and over again.  Then Masha and her friend grabbed our camera and started running around taking pictures and video clips. 

Several of the girls grabbed their photo albums from various trips, and all of them showed us pictures of their respective families and friends.  It looked like the kids had done a little bit of trading, and had a few photos from the other kids mixed in with their own photos.  Masha had all the letters and photos that we had sent her saved in a little box, and she pulled all of the out to show us, and to make sure we took home with us to pack.  Masha decided to take her photos, but leave the album behind for one of the other kids; she pulled them all out and handed them to me in a big stack.

We horsed around with all the girls for a couple of hours, and then it was time to leave.  Several of the girls promised to write letters for their families for us to bring home, and we should be able to get those in the morning when we pick Masha up.  We said our goodbyes and headed for the internet café and then a final trip to Amstor to pick up some sandwiches and snacks for the train.

We packed pretty much everything up, and I am very worried that our bags are overweight, but we got everything down to two duffels and a rollerbag (plus, of course, two backpacks, a giant purse, a laptop bag and a bg Amstor bag. 

I think we are ready to hit the road!

Our internet connection options will be very limited, so no photos and we'll post when we can.  We hope to get home by Friday night….please pray for everything to go smoothly!

Thanks for your support and encouragement, and love to all!!