The Rain In Ukraine Falls Mainly...Somewhere Else?

Wednesday, 30 May

Air conditioning is a blessing from God. Each day here has been hotter than the last, and we are very fortunate to be staying in an apartment that is air conditioned.

We got up early this morning so I could catch up on some writing. We headed into town at about 11, did some shopping and exploring around town, and even found a bank where they spoke English to exchange money! We met up with our driver at 1:00 and drove to the orphanage; Fred and Lisa arrived a couple of minutes behind us.

While we waited, one of the kids from last summer's Fort Wayne group popped into the room where we waited, holding a letter and some photos that she had just received from her family. She was looking for Sveta to translate the letter, but when I looked at it, I realized it was brief enough that Mark and I decided to take a stab at it. We got through almost the whole letter when Sveta arrived. She translated it for real, and we discovered that our translation was pretty darn good!

We learned that the girls had a dance rehearsal at 3:00, so we would only be able to take them to lunch, and then return them to the orphanage. Today, this was a good thing, because it rained for the first time since we've been in Ukraine…and it rained HARD! It had been getting a bit dusty and the pollen and flowers from the trillions of chestnut tress were all over the place, so a good hard rain was just what we needed. It cooled things off just a little bit, too! We were actually pretty happy to see the clouds forming!

After lunch, we lingered at our table in the cafeteria and asked the girls to each give us three words or phrases they wanted to learn in English (they were to tell Sveta in Russian, and the Sveta would tell us in English). Amina immediately told Sveta she wanted to know the English word "lawyer." This kicked off a discussion of what the kids wanted to be when they grew up. Amina she confessed that she didn't want to be a lawyer, just know the word. She actually wants to be a doctor.

Masha's first three answers to the question were "I don't know." Finally, she told Sveta that she wanted to be a teacher of Russian Literature. Kewl. Now we just have to pack a whole suitcase full of books to take home with us…Lena and Chess, we'll take any recommendations you have!

It was just about time to go when a strange old man at the table behind us fell off his chair and lay unconscious on the floor under our table. We were all concerned that something might be wrong (oh, like I dunno, be dead or something), but even the girls looked at him and said "Oh, he's just drunk." With the reports of rampant alcoholism around here, and the dirt cheap liquor prices, I almost expected to see more of this, but honestly, this was our first real drunk of the trip. We all vacated the restaurant, and the manager and a security guy dealt with him quickly.

We dropped the girls back at the orphanage in time for dance practice, and then picked up our laptop and went to Papa Karlo's for some quality time with their WiFi. Nothing eventful, just a quiet evening spent resting up and reading. I have to admit that I'm amazed how much energy it takes to accomplish what seems to be so little in a day. Write, Shop, Eat, Read. Not hard stuff. But at the end of each day, we're completely beat.

 

Tomorrow looks to be another light day; the girls have their last day of school tomorrow morning, we will have them for lunch and a short shopping expedition to purchase a card and small birthday gift for one of their caregivers, and then they have the last dance rehearsal before their big performance…The orphanage is hosting an all-day extravaganza on Friday to thank the community for their support. Apparently, the kids have a major show planned (hence all the dance rehearsals), and they will have a sale of some items that the children have made, with the proceeds going back to them for toys, books, etc. We are really looking forward to this!

 

Court

Tuesday, 29 May

So….we’ve been doing a lot of hanging out with the kids, and many of you are probably thinking “why aren’t they doing anything that’s actually related to adopting Masha and getting back home?” Yeah, we’re thinking that, too.

In the Ukrainian system, once we “meet” the child, there are some documents to prepare, and then a court date is requested, and the hearing is usually held about a week later. Because we got to the region on a Friday, and we weren’t able to do anything over the weekend, our documents weren’t ready until Tuesday of last week. Since then we had been asking about our court date; the answers were always pretty vague, but seemed to land on “Maybe Wednesday.”

We had at one time been told that there was a possibility it would be on Tuesday (today), and that regardless of the day, it would be at 11:00. I find it very very strange that we could get a solid time, but not a date, but I’m learning not to ask questions about these things….things are just done differently around here!

The risk manager in me kicked in when I woke up this morning, and I thought, “Gee, I have some free time, perhaps I should iron our clothes for court now rather than wait until the last minute.” And boy am I glad I did.

As I was finishing up Mark’s shirt at about 10:00, our phone rang. Mark was in the shower, taking advantage of working hot and cold water, so I answered it. It was Sasha calling us from Kiev to tell us that our court hearing was in one hour, and that Sveta would be calling us to arrange to pick us up. ACK!

Sasha prepared me a little for what to expect from the hearing, and then as I hung up with him, Sveta called to tell us she would pick us up in 20 minutes. We kicked into overdrive! I’ve never done hair, makeup, and dressed so fast in my life.

We arrived at the courthouse at about 10:45, and we were surprised to see Masha arrive with the psychologist from the orphanage. Sveta had told us that she had written a letter to the judge, and would not be present for the hearing. Turns out the the judge had called the orphanage that morning and wanted to speak with Masha himself…so there she was!

Our official translator arrived and gave us another quick briefing on what to expect. The hearing should last 15 minutes to a half hour, and we would be asked some basic questions. We were advised to keep our answers SHORT (you all know how hard that is for me!). We were told that if there were any problems, we wouldn’t have reached this point…that all of our documents were in order and that everything should go smoothly.

Our translator did a great job of keeping us informed of what was going on and what was being asked of us throughout the proceedings, but things were not quite as quick as we had expected. After asking us some basic information, and clearing up some confusion about where Mark was born (seems there’s no good Russian translation for “Kankakee”), they moved on to Masha. Masha’s history is a little complicated, and the judge had to read it all into record from the documents first. Then he asked Masha to stand, and asked her several questions about her family and the conditions she lived in before coming to the orphanage, whether she preferred the orphanage to living with her relatives, and whether she wanted to be part of our family. It was very difficult for her, but she is a trooper, and she handled it very well.

After Masha, the orphanage psychologist testified again about Masha’s history and how she came to the orphanage, how it affected her, and how being in our family would be good for her. Next was the assistant to the Mayor of the city, who had been very involved in the court cases to protect Masha. She again rehashed the history from her perspective, and explained how she had met us and was very happy that Masha had found a family to love her. Masha’s social worker then testified about how we had met and that she recommended that the adoption be approved. Finally, the prosecutor (who looked very bored) explained that everything was in order and he had no legal objections to the adoption.

After an hour in a very hot, stifling courtroom, the judge approved our petition to adopt Masha, and told us that the decision would be final in 10 days. As people stood up, everyone finally smiled and congratulated all of us, and we were able to hug Masha as her almost-real Mama and Papa.

In the whirlwind of arrival and the rush to get out of there, we didn’t get any pictures of the courtroom. We had wanted to get a photo of us with the judge, but it just didn’t happen….Oh well.

After court, Sasha took us back to the apartment to change clothes (Mark was dying in an undershirt, long-sleeved dress shirt, and jacket), and then we headed back to the orphanage. We hung out while Sveta worked on some more documents, and then we found out that the girls had dance rehearsal mid-afternoon, so we wouldn’t be able to take them out for lunch. We all played outside for a bit, and then Fred, Lisa, Mark and I all went into town for pizza. We were attempting to order for ourselves when we heard a voice boom “You guys need some help??” from behind us.

An American man and a Ukrainian woman walked up and introduced themselves…they were engaged, and he was in town for a few months working on getting a fiancée visa for her to come back to the States. They helped us order our pizzas and we exchanged phone numbers. There aren’t many Americans around here, so I’m guessing that he was even more excited to hear English than we were to hear him! We were careful to not tell him exactly why we were here…we’ve been advised to not share too much, but I suspect that he can put two and two together and figure out why two American couples are “tourists” in a far corner of Ukraine….
After lunch, we walked around a little shopping “Mall” and bought another couple of Frisbees (our goal is now to actually purchase every Frisbee in town, and we’re making progress), and then met Sasha for a drive back to the orphanage. Just after we got there, Sveta was able to talk with the Director, and got permission to take the girls out later than usual so we could go see Shrek III at the local theatre. She gave us the OK just 10 minutes before the show started, so we raced back into town, bought tickets and settled in just as the show was beginning.

Side note: Movie theatres in Ukraine have assigned seating. Confused the crap out of us when they lady was asking where we wanted to sit, and even more when we got into the theatre and people were sitting in our seats. We sat where we felt like sitting, and all was well.

Following the movie, we took the girls back and then headed home, exhausted. We made dinner, watched a movie, and crashed.

Plan B

Monday 28 May

After our first trip back to the apartment about a week ago, Sveta had told us that we were encouraged to spend more time outside, and that we needed to wait a little while before scheduling another “at home” day. A few days ago, she told us that it would be OK again. So today, we had planned to spend some Niles Family Time together at our apartment making lunch, working on English, playing some games and generally hanging out.

We started the day at Amstor and got a cartload of groceries, as well as the second Harry Potter DVD (in Russian, of course). We found everything we wanted except for pancake syrup, so we considered the trip a success until we got in line. We will never again complain about the intellectually challenged checkout personnel at Meijer!! If any of you catch me doing this, just say “Remember Amstor” and I’ll shut my mouth tight!

Mark knew something was wrong when he left me in line so he could go get the DVD, and I was in exactly the same place when he came back. The store was very busy, and all the lines were long, but they seemed to be moving well…except for ours. Once we got up to the front we realized why. Even though the main scanner appeared to work, the checkout girl seemed to have no concept that it could be used unless something accidentally scanned as she picked it up (which happened a couple of times).

The conveyor was to her right. She would reach across and pick up an item with her left hand, slowly and deliberately locate the barcode on the item, then pick up the hand scanner with her right hand, scan the item, set down the scanner, send the item on down to us to be bagged, and then start on the next one. Even when we had four of the same thing, this happened each time.

It took us 25 minutes to get through the line.

Once done, we quickly ran back to the apartment, unloaded the groceries into the fridge/freezer and ran back down so we could meet Sveta at the orphanage around 12. We arrived at the orphanage to learn that we would not be allowed to bring Masha back to the apartment because of some concerns that neighbors might see us with her. It is VERY unusual for us to spend as much time as we have with the kids and to take them off orphanage grounds; most families are allowed to spend an hour or two a day with their child at the orphanage, and they usually aren’t given any access to even see any of the other children, let alone play with them. This orphanage is very special and very committed to helping us develop bonds with the kids, but they are also concerned that they don’t encounter any problems because they are doing things differently from how they are usually done.

We didn’t have a backup plan for how to spend the day, and I got a little annoyed about having my “project assumptions” turned upside down like that (perhaps I should have written a Statement of Work for our visits?). And then Sveta asks us “So what do you want to do?” We are quickly learning that our options are: 1) Eat Lunch, 2) Go to the Park, or 3) Go get ice cream. We decided to go to the cafeteria with Lisa and Fred, and then to split up for a while.

We discovered that Lisa had done some great preparation of English lessons so we quickly jumped onto their bandwagon, and did a little bit of English as we were finishing up lunch. We worked on some basic emotion words like “happy,” “sad,” “confused,” and “frustrated.” We moved over to the park that just a couple of blocks away, and continued with a little bit more English. Masha was pretty pouty and resistant, but went along with it while the other kids were there….We are learning that English (and studying in general, probably) is going to be one our biggest challenges with her. She commented later that she wasn’t good in school and that she thought she couldn’t learn it. She seems to be very much like me…if she doesn’t get something quickly, she gets frustrated and angry at it, but if she does get it quickly, she rocks through it and is bored. Finding a balance of challenging her, but setting her up for success will be, um, an opportunity for us and her teachers….(insert seasoned parental advice here, please???)

We also had on the plan for the day to go shoe shopping. A few days before, Masha had requested some sandals with a heel strap that she would be able to run in, so we had arranged with Sveta to go shopping. Masha was in quite the unpleasant mood by the time we got to the store, but I’m actually glad that she was pouty and that shopping didn’t change that. It showed her that we don’t buy things for her just when she’s nice, and it also showed that shopping for things isn’t supposed to “cheer you up” or buy love and sweetness. An odd opportunity, but still an opportunity.

We had arranged to spend some time with just the three of us at the park, and we got back there about the time that Lisa and Fred and their girls were leaving. When Masha learned that her friends were leaving and that Sveta wouldn’t be staying with us either, she toppled over the edge. She sat on the park bench in her new shoes and stared straight ahead with tears streaming down her face. This is sooo hard for her. She is used to having other kids around 24/7, and she is totally out of her comfort zone, as are we.

We found an open spot and tried to play a little bit to get a smile out of her, and after a few minutes, she asked to watch a little bit of a video on the computer. We found a shaded bench, and watched 20 minutes of Toy Story 2 (in English). That seemed to give her enough time to calm down a little, and she had a better attitude when we returned to our little clearing to play catch. We tried to reinforce some verbs, like “catch,” “throw,” and “drop” (Mama showed many good examples of drop!) while playing, and while she wouldn’t repeat the words, she did start smiling.

We all returned to the orphanage a little early so we could play with all the kids and the girls grabbed the cameras and took kitten pictures. As we left, Mark said to Masha “I am sorry you were sad today,” and she replied “It’s OK” and gave him a big hug. I guess she’s just 12!

We left, and went to Papa Karlos to get a bite to eat, check email, and upload the past couple of days blog entries, but just as I was logging in to post, the internet connection went down. Typical! When it became clear that it wasn’t coming back up, we said goodbye to Fred and Lisa and headed back to the apartment.

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie…

Sunday, 27 May

Even after a full night’s sleep, we are still waking up tired. A combination of being in the sun, and being hot, and sleeping on beds that we are not accustomed to…

Shortly after we woke up, Sveta called to tell us that she had spoken with the Director on last night, and she had suggested that we all take the girls to the beach today. She said that the girls had swimsuits, so we just needed to bring towels and entertainment. Mark took a quick walk around the neighborhood to see if he could pick up a set of trunks, as neither of us brought a swimsuit, but he didn’t have much luck.

Sasha picked us up at 12:15, and we managed to communicate to him that we needed to exchange some money. He tried three places before they found one that was open, but we had cash again…helpful if you want to eat around here, as pretty much no one takes credit cards.


Fred and Lisa arrived at the orphanage with Sveta about the same time, and the girls appeared a couple of minutes later, with bathing suits under their clothes. I noticed the strap of Masha’s bathing suit was tied funny, and Masha explained that she had done that so that the other kids wouldn’t see it under her clothes and get jealous that they couldn’t go the beach….Maybe she did get out point from yesterday; that was very considerate of her! She also used that opportunity to let us know that the bathing suits here were two-piece rather than the one-piece suits we were used to in America, so that we would not be surprised when we got there.

We decided to get some pizza for lunch, and then were off to the beach. As the girls started removing layers of clothes, we saw that Amina had a really cute two-piece with a flap on the top that covered her belly, and Khrystyna’s had pretty good coverage as well. Then off came Masha’s dress. And all the blood rushed out of my head. There, on my little 12-year-old daughter, was the ittie bittiest, teenie weeniest blue string bikini I had ever seen. The only consolation was that it wasn’t a thong!

We quickly rushed her into the water so Mark and I could get over our shock. We all agreed that photos should only be taken from the neck up, and that Mark needed to start polishing his baseball bat. Lisa and I discussed techniques for explaining modesty in the US culture. But overall, the girls had a great time, and I guess we sorta got used to it. All the important parts were covered up. It wasn’t what we would have chosen for her, and we will have the opportunity to correct that starting in a couple of weeks. Until then, we just go with the flow.

For you culture-watchers out there…there were only a couple of topless women at the beach. The men, though, pretty much all wore little tiny speedos, and most of them do not have the physique to pull it off!

The other odd element of this beach—it was placed adjacent to a large shipyard for one of the steel mills. It was very strange to be a couple hundred yards from an active shipyard, and to see the various container ships lined up in the channel waiting to come in to the yard.

So the girls played in the water, and played in the sand. At one point, Masha grabbed something off the beach and started digging a hole. As soon as Mark saw it, he stopped the digging…it was an old rusty tuna can. Suspecting that the Director might get upset if we sent her back with tetanus, Mark removed the can, and let the girls continue digging with their hands. They dug a very respectable hole, and when the guys asked if they were digging a hole to China, they replied, “No, America!”

Time at the beach flew by quickly, and it was soon time to head back. As Masha was drying off, she began complaining that she had water in her ear. Shaking her head and pounding on it (my preferred techniques) weren’t working. So Sveta gets an idea. She looked at me with a total straight face, and asks “Do you have a stick?” Like I’m gonna rip a stick off a tree and cram it in my daughter’s ear? (In her defense, she meant a Q-tip, but didn’t know what to call it!)

No Q-tips available, Sveta’s issued an edict that all car windows in both cars should be closed for the trip home, since everyone had wet heads. Keep in mind that it’s about 87 degrees out, and these cars do not have air conditioning. Heat notwithstanding, we all piled into the cars and headed back to the orphanage with the windows closed. I started getting really sick in the car on the way there, but it’s a small price to pay to prevent, um, ….well, something.

We did learn that Masha had been at a camp last summer where we won some swimming competitions, and that she was interesting in joining a swim team when we get back home. Anyone who knows anything about the swimming scene in Fort Wayne, please drop me an email?

We got to talking a little more about what else she likes, and while she wouldn’t volunteer anything, she did also answer that she liked camping when we asked. So that can go on the list of things to do when we get home! The upside of horrible Ukrainian public restroom facilities is that even the pit toilets in the “rustic” campgrounds will be ok with her….hopefully!

After we droped her off, we headed back home for a shower and a little nap before getting together with Lisa and Fred for dinner. We decided to try a restaurant near our apartment that seemed popular. We were thrilled when we walked in to find it almost chilly—air conditioning is something we’ve really come to appreciate!

Upon learning our challenges with the Russian language, the waitress was very kind and accommodating, she helped us through the menu using her limited English and pointing and miming. Everything was going pretty well until she pointed out the chicken. One chicken dish contained a chicken leg or thigh…and then the next was chicken breast. The poor woman turned crimson as she said chicken and then quickly waved her hand across her chest and then burst into laughter! We all howled, but we got the idea! We thought it would be better to not order the Chicken Chest!

We had a lovely adult dinner with just the four of us, and it was really nice to just be able to have a fun evening with friends. It’s really surprising how much energy this takes. It doesn’t seem like we are doing all that much. We have time to sleep in, we don’t do much in the evening. But it takes a lot of energy to function in such a different environment, to build parent-child bonds with kids who don’t speak English, and to deal with so many unknowns. It tests your patience and flexibility, but it’s worth every bit!

Fireworks

Saturday, 26 May

Everything was totally back to normal today...Sveta and a new diver picked us up about noon, and on the way to the orphanage, Sveta shared with us that she had overheard Masha making a not-so-nice comment to a younger boy. We agreed that we needed to talk with her about this and let her know that this is NOT OK.

When we arrived at the orphanage, we gave her big hugs and worked out the plan for the day, then we pulled her aside with Sveta and explained that we knew what she had said, and that we love her very much but that this was not acceptable behavior. It’s really difficult to parent in this type of situation, because we have such little access or control over the environment, she still has the orphanage workers as her primary caregivers and authorities, but we still need to clearly set expectations of what’s acceptable and what’s not. She got the message, but still felt loved.

Once that was taken care of, we took off to the cafeteria for lunch…Fred and Lisa have decided to adopt a second child, so we had all three girls. We are quite the crowd!

After lunch, we headed to the park by the sea, now known as “Crocodile Park.” This park is full of rides and attractions, and the vendors were ready for a busy Saturday at the park! Because it was Saturday, we decided to let them loose a little. First, they went through the Hall of Mirrors. It was actually a little more like a Room of Mirrors, but the girls had fun posing and making funny faces. While Mark and the kids were there, Sveta bought a puff of cotton candy much bigger than her head, and then the girls shared one when they came out.

They also found a very scary swinging ride; Mark and Fred took them over to this with Lisa, Sveta, and I sat on a bench in the shade…I am very glad I didn’t see this before it happened. I wonder how these kids live into adulthood with rides like this! It was a large, boat-shaped swing. The kids stood one on each end and one in the center, and then the operator pushed it by hand until they were swinging nearly 20 feet in the air. No seat belts or other safety straps of any sort. The woman pushing the thing had to push it nd then get out of the way as it swung back, and if she tripped, the thing would be sure to take her head off. And to slow it down and stop it, there was this giant lever that raised up a piece of wood on the platform underneath that grazed the bottom of the swing. Crazy!

After that, they repeated the Witch’s Wheel-Like Ride (we’ve discovered this is called “Surprise”…like you should be surprised when lunch comes back after riding it!), and then, of course, the Crocodile! What trip to Crocodile Park would be complete without bouncing in the Crocodile??

With their allotment of rides complete, we moved to the playground, where the girls played with some other kids until it was time to go. The drivers picked us up, and took us to the ice cream shop, where we cooled off and went through some English flashcards with the girls. After some more very very yummy ice cream, we took the girls back to the orphanage, and then ran back to the apartment to grab the laptop and head to Papa Karlos for a bite, a drink, and an email update, and then we were done for the night.

Just before heading to bed, though, I heard some noise in the distance, and stepped out onto the porch to find a pretty big fireworks display a few miles away. My view was partially blocked by another apartment building, but it was neat to watch. For a few seconds, watching fireworks with a cool breeze on my face, I almost forgot we were halfway around the world.

Culture Clash

Friday, 25 May

It was bound to happen at some point…we experienced our first real challenge related to culture and tradition today. In the end it will all be OK, but the day was not one of our better ones.

The day started out pretty typical; we hung out at the apartment until about 11:30 when Sasha picked us up and drove us to the Internet Café. I updated the blog and started adding photos while Mark checked out the downtown shops. At 1:00 Sasha picked us back up and we drove to the orphanage where we met Sveta, Lisa, and Fred.

We stood outside and waited for the girls while Sveta went inside and spoke with the orphanage staff, but then a few minutes later, we were all called inside. The director spoke with us for a few minutes to share some requests regarding communication and gifts, and she also asked us to bring some fruit for all the children so that they would also feel special. Then she asked that we limit our time with the kids to about an hour today, and stay on the grounds of the orphanage. Apparently something had happened unrelated to us, but she felt that her traditions and culture were being disrespected.

We were told at this point that we could play with the girls for about an hour, so we waited for them to come out; when they did, we talked with them for a few minutes, Sveta explained that we were not going to be allowed to go to town today, but that we could play at the orphanage. We were just spreading out to start throwing the Frisbee when an orphanage worker came out and called the girls in for lunch. We had seen them for about 10 minutes.

We were then told that they had lunch and then dance practice, and that we could see them from 4:00 to 5:00. We said our goodbyes, and decided to go get some lunch ourselves, and then go to the store to buy fruit.

Sveta took us to a wonderful pizzeria that was sort of like Subway, in that the ingredients were right there in front of you, and you could pick what went on your pizza and see that it was all fresh. But the best part was the air conditioning. On yet another Africa Hot day, this place was cool and comfortable….and the tables were thick slabs of granite that were cool to the touch; arms rested on the table worked to cool the whole body!

So we went to Amstor and bought fruit. We bought apples and oranges and kiwis. We bought 300 grivna of fruit. That’s a whole cartload of fruit. We should have taken a picture of the cartload of fruit, but we were a little preoccupied. We also picked up several bottles of water for the girls since it was very hot outside.

We drove back to the orphanage, and after a couple of minutes, the girls came outside. We were invited to carry the fruit upstairs, and were able to see the space where the girls live. Based on what we expected to see from pictures of other orphanages, we were thrilled to see the conditions these kids live in. They had two very large rooms, with a couch and TV, an area with desks for studying, and a kitchenette. After this, we went back outside and we started playing our own strange version of Monkey in the Middle.

The stress of the trip and of adjusting to a different environment and the general emotional drain of the situation have been wearing on me more than I was aware. As kids spilled out of the orphanage to play, tossing Frisbees and balls, and laughing and giggling, I stood at the side and cried, totally overwhelmed by it all.

Masha and her friend Lena noticed that I was upset and asked Sveta why I was crying. She covered for me nicely and said that sometimes when adults are really happy, they cry, and that I was just so happy to see Masha playing with her friends. The two girls came over and hugged me and sat on either side of me. Lena asked Sveta how to say “Don’t cry” in English….and she kept hugging me and stuck right by my side for the rest of the time we were there.

I pulled it together long enough to smile a lot and say our “good-byes” and “see you tomorrows” before we piled into the car and left. We went straight to Papa Karlos to hop online and make a couple of phone calls on Skype, and then headed home, exhausted.

Tomorrow is another day….

Ukrainian Mullet

Thursday, 24 May 2007

We woke around 8:00 to another beautiful Ukrainian day…not a cloud in the sky. But as we walked to the Internet café in the center of town, we discovered that today was going to be hot…like Africa Hot.

We stopped to exchange money, and then stuck our noses in an interesting looking shope that sold toys, electronics and watches. We found a watch to replace the one Masha broke the other day, and one for Mark and one for me as well! No longer must we dig out the phone to see what time it is!!

We made our way to the Internet café, where we both settled in to see what we’d be able to access today. I checked email and posted yesterday’s blog while Mark surfed a bit. When our time was up, we walked down the street to the rather large bazaar area. Covering several city blocks, local people set up stalls and sell just about anything from toilets to shoes to fish. We only made it through a fraction of the offerings before the heat got the better of us and we headed back to the air-conditioned bliss of the internet café.

After another 15 minutes of surfing (where we checked the weather to see how long it was gonna stay this HOT), we met our driver and went over to the orphanage to pick Masha up. Upon our arrival, Sveta announced that she had remembered a new cafeteria to try for lunch! We all did the happy dance, and piled into the cars.

Every coin has two sides. The heads…the air conditioning in this cafeteria rocked! It was nice and cool and wonderful inside. The tails…no one was eating there for a reason. The place looked like the VFW hall decorated for a wedding reception, and the food tasted about the same. The pelemeni were good (how can pelemeni be bad??), but the rest left a bit to be desired.

After everyone was full, we headed over to the park, armed with a soccer ball, velcro catch game, and a couple of Frisbees. Despite our preparedness, the girls immediately begged for some time in the crocodile, and then on the centrifugal Lunch Retriever ride. Masha was very disappointed that we limited her to two rides, but Sveta explained that we are not cash machines, but, in fact, parents.

We spent a little time on the playground, but Masha was getting into a bit of a funk. Sveta came over and announced that Masha needed to use the bathroom, and offered to take her. Mark followed along, anxious for the Ukrainian Public Restroom Experience. I think I’m glad I missed it, if the women’s room was as nasty as the men’s….Yuk.

This might be a little too much information, but I have to share…My restroom strategy to this point has been to use the facilities at home the second before we leave in the morning, and to limit my liquid consumption to only what I can process and sweat out during the afternoon. So far I’ve been successful in avoiding the public restrooms…knock on wood. (and I’m sure I’ll hear from all of you about how unhealthy this is, but if you look at the photo of this bathroom, you’ll see that it’s the lesser of two evils!)

After the park (and lots of hand sanitizer), we took the girls to the wonderful Café of the Banana Split for ice cream. Masha was still in a little bit of a mood, but she ordered ice cream and reluctantly ate it. We all got really yummy sundaes for about $1.20 each. Have I mentioned recently that the food is really cheap!?!?!

When we had all eaten our fill of ice cream, we returned the girls to the orphanage and said our goodbyes. After this, we asked our driver to run back to our apartment to pick up the laptop…I had seen a little WiFi symbol on a poster at Papa Karlo’s cafeteria yesterday and wanted to check it out to see if it was for real.

Jackpot! We found free WiFi!!!!! We spent about an hour and a half online, taking care of some blog administration, calling home via Skype, and instant messaging. It was nice to be connected for the price of a beer and some pistachio nuts. But the piece de resistance was our discovery of not one, but two Ukrainian Mullets. Photo is not so good, but it's the best I could get while pretending to take a picture of Mark!

The Week and a Half In Review

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

We are starting to fall into a bit of a routine, so I want to take the opportunity to provide a Cliff's Notes version of our trip so far…..

We have been in Ukraine for a week and a half, and we are traveling with our friends Fred and Lisa, who are adopting a child from the same orphanage where Masha lives. We left Fort Wayne on Sunday afternoon, and arrived in Kiev mid-day on Monday. We met with the Ukrainian State Department of Adoption (SDA) on Wednesday to obtain official permission travel to Masha's city to begin the adoption process.

We left Kiev on Thursday afternoon, and traveled via overnight train. Masha lives in a coastal city in southeast Ukraine, a 16-hour ride from Kiev. After our arrival on Friday, we settled in and then completed some documents before grabbing a late lunch and then to the orphanage to meet with the director and see the girls…it was a great reunion!

Saturday and Sunday we had more time with Masha; we took her to the beach and to Extreme Park, the city's "street fair gone horribly wrong" amusement park.

Monday, we resumed the paper chase, and learned that the Ukrainian adoption process involved a lot of hurryupandwait. It is challenging for a control freak like me to just let go and follow our facilitator's lead, but that's the only way to maintain one's sanity!

Monday afternoon, we submitted a request to the court for Masha's name to be changed to Maria Elizabeth Niles. She likes her new name, and even told us that Elizabeth is a better name than Maria!

We now are waiting for our court hearing, which we believe will be next Tuesday. After that, we wait through the mandatory 10-day waiting period, which will end on Friday, 12 June, when we can request Masha's new birth certificate and passport, and then head back to Kiev before returning home.

We couldn't have asked for better weather, and we're watching a lot of Russian MTV, and overall have had a great trip so far. Thanks to all of you for your interest, your encouragement, and your love and prayers…keep 'em coming!!!!

Surreality

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

The sun seems brighter here, and we are generally waking up on our own shortly before the alarm sounds. This morning, I made some tea and read a bit before tidying things up and setting off on another day's adventure.

I did find that I was very irritable this morning…or I should say Mark found out. I think that although we're settling into a routine, I'm having a little trouble adjusting to not having control over what's going on. Add to that the anxiety of becoming a new parent, but not really being able to start parenting for real yet…I feel like I have a rent-a-kid for a few hours a day.

We are in a strange state of suspended reality on one side of Masha's dual lives. I can only imagine how challenging it is for her to balance the familiarity of orphanage life with the combination of hope and fear of her new life with us. Piled onto that the fact that our time together is generally with another family and with our facilitator, and is packed with eating out and playing…not a solid indicator of "real life."

I wouldn't give up this time with Masha for all the tea in China (or Ukraine!) but it's still very surreal. I can't wait to get back home and settle in, but I also am terrified of it. I know that God will give me the strength and the wisdom that is beyond my experience, just has He has all along…but it's scary nonetheless.

So….this morning we set off to walk to the Internet café. It's not really a bad walk, and there are several shops and street vendors set up between here and there. We had a leisurely stroll up there, and it took us about 20 minutes. It's nice to know that we have a little bit more freedom, and that we don't have to depend on our drivers for everything.

We spent about 30 minutes online, and about halfway in, we thought we heard English being spoken further down the row of computers. A couple of minutes later, two young women left their computers, and as they passed by, they asked if we were Americans. We stopped and talked to them for a few minutes before meeting our driver to go to the orphanage.

It only took us about 45 minutes of waiting around before we got to lunch today, and we went to the Vivat Time cafeteria. The girls had to be back by 3:30 for dance practice, so they were only allowed to eat soup at lunch. After lunch, we took them to the park in the center of town to play for a little bit before we took them back.

Like the park yesterday, this one had two big blowup bouncy things, but they were much more elaborate. One of them was called "Savanna" and had a big slide, and a palm tree that the kids could climb and jump off, and it also had the big crocodile like the one at yesterday's park At 10 grivna ($2), it seemed a little expensive, but the thing was pretty cool.

After bouncing like crazy for the allotted 10 minutes (more like 15 minutes), the girls migrated over to the little playground, where they climbed around and played on the swings. Mark and Fred spun them around on the little spinning merry-go-round-like-thing (what are those things called anyway??), then Mark and Fred got on and the girls spun them around on it until the self-proclaimed Playground Policewoman, a little old babushka, came over and sternly told them that it was for children only….

We took the girls back in time for dance class, and sent them back in with cookies and chocolates, and juice, and gum to share with their friends. The girls gave us big hugs goodbye and then ran in for practice, and we headed back to the apartment for a nap and a quiet evening.

Banana Split

Tuesday, 22 May

After the running documents around all day yesterday, today's agenda was pretty open at the start of the day. Mark took a walk around our neighborhood to check out the shops, and discovered that we have a lot within walking distance, and we made arrangements to be picked up at 10:45 to go to the internet café and spend an hour or so, and to get our laptop connected.

We were scheduled to meet up with Fred and Lisa, and to pick the girls up around 1:00 for the afternoon….but things don't always go as planned around here! Just as we were wrapping up at the internet café, we received a call from Sveta, our facilitator, telling us that a driver was waiting for us outside, and we needed to get over to the courthouse right away. We launched into action-mode.

When we got there, Sveta had not yet arrived, so we waited patiently outside for her. Within a few minutes, her car whipped up and she bolted up the stairs to the office where we had submitted our documents yesterday. Turns out that they had a few questions about our documentation, and they needed clarification in order to submit our application for a court date.

After we answered her questions and signed the document, the woman preparing our court application started discussing something with Sveta. They seemed to disagree a little bit, and Sveta asked us to wait in the hallway outside while they worked everything out. After about 10 minutes, Sveta came out of the office and whisked us back outside. She told us that the judge would be back in about a half hour to sign our application and assign our court date.

From the courthouse, we drove to the orphanage. Fred and Lisa had not arrived from their visit to the notary (an adventure of a whole different sort), and so we played Frisbee and volley-catch-soccer with Masha and Khrystyna. What was to have been a 5-10 minute wait turned into over 2 hours, as one thing after another caused us delays.

At 3:30, ready to gnaw our own arms off in hunger, we finally left the orphanage with the girls, headed for the cafeteria for lunch (Note to those following us: Always keep snacks and bottles of water with you!!) . We knew that Sveta had an appointment to deliver some documents at 4:00, and as we sat down, Sveta turned to us and announced, "You have ten minutes." I've never eaten so much food so fast in all my life.

Sveta piled us into our cars and dropped us off at a park while she went with Sasha for her 4:00 appointment, and made arrangements to meet us back at the entrance to the park at 4:45 so we could get the girls back by 5:00. Rush rush rush!

The park was very nice, with many trees and wide brick walkways. On one side of the park, they also had some rides that looked like they had been retired from a 1950s street fair for safety concerns and shipped off to Eastern Europe! Masha and Khrystyna rode a strange little roller coaster guarded by a very large and angry bear-like dog, but the best attraction was a giant inflatable crocodile that the kids could climb into and bounce around. They had a grand time climbing all over each other and jumping around!

We walked around the park a little more, and Masha munched on some chicken-flavored potato chips that we had purchased at lunch. Yes, you read that right. Chicken. It tasted like potato chips coated with the flavor packet from chicken ramen noodles. Seriously. Chicken. There's a chicken leg on the bag. It's a strange land. :-)

We dropped the girls back at the orphanage, said our goodbyes, and headed back into town. Sveta left us at a restaurant that was said to have good desserts, and so Fred, Lisa, Mark, and I got to figure out the menu. Lisa deciphered "banana split," and three out of four ordered that. Fred ordered a chocolate mousse, and while it was yummy, he really got the short end of the stick. The desserts took forever to arrive, but when they did, they were worth the wait! For $2.50 (12 grivna), we got the most amazing ice cream delight I've ever seen! Sliced fruits, yummy ice cream, whipped cream, all coated with chocolate shavings….it was heaven!

Stuffed to the gills, we drove back to the apartment, picked up a couple of groceries, and called it a night.

Fish Treats

Monday, 21 May

(good day, busy day, long entry!)

Up at 8:30 and after a chemically-induced full night’s sleep, we woke to no hot water. We have now learned to shower when you can…a “Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em” lesson in opportunity management. Mark had decided after a hot and dirty day at Extreme Park that he’d wait until morning to shower. He made good use of the “personal wipes” that we brought!

About 10:15, we got a call from Sveta telling us to be downstairs in ten minutes so we could go to the courthouse to meet with the local social worker to gain the local government’s approval to file for our adoption. Once we arrived, we were sat on a row of chairs that appeared to have been ripped from a crumbling movie theatre and set down in the hallway of another very old building. Not being attached to anything, they had a tendency to tilt a bit if all of us were leaning back or forward!

We were able to speak briefly with the director of social work in the hallway, but we learned that we also needed to speak with the assistant to the mayor. So we waited in the hallway for a good 20 minutes for her to be available, and then spent about 3 minutes in her office answering questions and smiling a lot.

After we finished this interview, we learned that several of the other workers in the office wanted to meet the parents that were adopting Masha. Over the years, they had gotten to know her because of some special court proceedings on her behalf, and they all seemed very happy to meet us. One woman’s eyes were filled with tears. We thanked them for everything they had done on Masha’s behalf, and then we were on the move again.

Sveta dropped us at the Internet café for a quick check of email, and then gave us a little time while she did more paperwork to walk around town before meeting back up to go to the orphanage.

At the Internet café, the morning was challenging. As is becoming our habit, we got two computers for 30 minutes…all for the whopping sum of $1. They sat us next to each other; I got the computer where the flash drive didn’t work, and Mark couldn’t log into any web-based email systems. As a result, we are now THREE days behind on the blog!!!!

After the Internet Café, we walked around town with Fred and Lisa. We visited a few shops and walked through the hidden mall…it really looks like a modern office building, but it was a five-story Mecca of the Ukrainian shopping scene. We noticed that the European clothes and other items were very reasonably priced, but the American items (particularly the sports stuff like warm-up suits and running shoes) were really expensive.

On the top floor of the mall, we found a shop that sold DVDs of American movies with Russian dubs and subtitles, and picked up a couple for Masha. We also found a toy store where we bought a Velcro catch set for the beach and Lisa and Fred bought a whistling Frisbee (guess I have to say goodbye to my “last Frisbee in Ukraine” story). Then we headed back downstairs and discovered the bookstore in the basement. They also sold movies and CDs, so we picked up a couple more movies and then headed back to meet our drivers.

By this time, we were all so hungry we could have gnawed our own arms off…the original plan was to pick the girls up at about 1:00 and get some lunch. We didn’t get to the orphanage until 2:30, and then we played Frisbee in the parking lot for another half hour while Sveta tended to some business inside the orphanage. Around 3:00, we ran out to Papa Karlos for a quick lunch with the girls since we were due back at the courthouse for a 4:00 appointment.

At the cafeteria, Masha chose a piece of cake to split with Papa, and also asked for a bag of these odd-looking dried fish things…they looked like cat treats. But they looked harmless enough, so sure. At least it wasn’t a candy bar, right?? WRONG! Being the kind child that Masha is, she offered these things to each of us at the table. Sveta started into a story about how she loves them, but her husband banishes her to another room after she’s eaten then until she’s brushed her teeth three times and eaten 5 mints. Mark sniffed one, made a face and gave it back to Masha. Lisa and Fred wouldn’t even look at them. . So what do I do? I accept one and make an attempt to EAT it. Note to self: when no other adult at the table is willing to eat something, do not eat it or at least smell it first!! When we got back to the orphanage, Masha tried to give one of these things to a stray cat. The cat walked up to it, sniffed it, and walked away. Even the cat wouldn’t eat it!!!!

After dropping the girls off and meeting briefly with the orphanage doctor, we went to the courthouse to file the application for a court date; on the way in, we realized that this is the time we need to provide the name that we are requesting to be given to Masha on her adoption paperwork….in other words, if we wanted to change her name or give her an American middle name, now’s the time! We had been spending a lot of time with name books evaluating options and narrowing our choices down to a short list that we had planned to review with Masha. Time had been short today, and we just didn’t get to that conversation.

We submitted the paperwork with her new name, and then drove back to the orphanage to talk to her about it. We printed her full name on a bright green index card so that she could keep it. We explained that Maria is a pretty common name in America, and that we kept that as her first name (note that we dropped the “y” for simplicity!). Then we explained that Americans don’t have a patronymic name (middle name as a derivative of the father’s name), so we chose an American name for her middle name: Elizabeth. So there we have it….Maria Elizabeth Niles. She approved, and when she ran to get one of her friends, we overheard them talking about her new name…it’s so cute to hear her say it!

We played Frisbee a little while longer with Masha, Khrystyna, and one of their friends, and then called it a night. We headed back to the apartment, watched another movie, and hit the sack!

Extreme Day

Sunday, 20 May 2007

Since the first day we arrived at the orphanage (OK, so that’s only two days, but it seems like longere…) Masha has been asking to go to “Extreme Park.” Apparently, at least one of the families that came ahead of us took their child to an amusement park in town called Extreme Park. Seems now that all the kids have decided that this their adoptive parents purpose in life is to take them to this place.

We were originally going to try to put this off until later in the trip, but for a number of reasons, including her disappointment at cancelling Fun Spot Park last summer, we decided to go for it.

We met Fred and Lisa at the orphanage, and took the girls to town. Sveta gave us a tour of downtown, and we found a sporting good shop that had two, count them, two Frisbees left. To further confirm that they were supposed to be ours, one of them was pink and the other was purple, and they were cheap. They were dusty enough that we don’t think Frisbees are a very common purchase in this town, and I suspect we got the last two in town. At least it makes for a nice story….maybe by the time Masha is 30, it will sound like we bought the last two Frisbees in Ukraine?

We had a really nice lunch at a pizzeria downtown (although the girls ordered crab salad instead of pizza..) and then headed out of town to Extreme Park! Now, a word of explanation….To this point, I am assuming that “Extreme Park” is some kind of translation or made-up name that the kids came up with for this little local amusement park. Imagine my surprise when we pulled into the parking lot as saw “экстрим-парк,” which is Russian for…you got it, Extreme Park.

I guess to a kid who has never been to Cedar Point, this place was extreme. There was a small roller coaster, a free-fall mini-“Power Tower”, bumper cars, etc, and there is a decent-sized ferris wheel that gives a pretty good view of the park and of the city. It cost one grivna each for entry into the park (that’s about 20 cents for those playing at home), and then it was either one, two, or three grivna to ride each of the rides. Masha and Khrystyna had a really fun time, but it was HOT, and there were very few shady places. Mama = Lobster!

When we got pretty well rided-out, we took the girls to a large fountain in the “regular” park that was next to the “extreme” park. We dangled our feet in the cool water until it was time for our drivers to pick us up. The girls were hungry, so we stopped to get some “real” food into them instead of the chips and ice cream they were asking for! We had to do a lot of “Nyet”-ing at the cafeteria…first to Pepsi instead of fruit juice, then to a variety of desserts, chips, gum, and candy. She did a pretty good job of accepting “no,” although she tried the sweet eyelash batting, accompanied by “Pleeeeeeaazzzzzze???” Does she really think I was born yesterday? Maybe the day before…but not yesterday!

The girls made another trip back to the cash register for extra bottles of water to take back to the orphanage with them, and they also got extra juice to take back and share with their friends. They really do seem to think a lot about the other kids and they share very well. We do hope that she keeps that up!!

We dropped them off at the orphanage, and stayed there for a few minutes in the room with the very loud bird before we left the girls for the evening. We stopped briefly at the internet café to check email, and then headed back to the apartment to clean up and have a nice quiet evening at home. We were completely exhausted from being in the sun and heat, and it was nice to take a shower, watch some TV, and chill out.

I’ll save the description of Russian TV for a less eventful day!

A Ball on a Boy

Saturday, 19 May

Not quite as time-adjusted as I had thought, I was awake and ready to meet the world at 6:30 AM. I got up, made a cup of tea, and went through a couple of sections of Russian using the Rosetta Stone program. I now know how to say “The horse jumps” and “A ball on a boy.” Really useful stuff.

At about 8:30, Mark got up, and we got ourselves around and ready to go by the time that our driver Sasha arrived at 10:45 to take us to the orphanage. We had brought gifts for several kids on behalf of their families, and we were able to see a couple of them to give them their gifts and take some photos/video of the kids, and to share lots of hugs and kisses. We’re finding that after school and on the weekends, these kids are petty busy…it’s hard to get them all in the same place at the same time!

Sveta had made arrangements to spend the morning with Fred and Lisa, so we were on our own. We thought it would be a good idea to take Masha to the beach before we got together with them for lunch. We thought wrong.

Lesson #1 of parenting was forgotten in our haste to see Masha…”Always be prepared.” We showed up at the beach with nothing. No towels, no beach ball, no Frisbee, no nothing. We walked up the beach, sat and stared at the sea a little bit. Masha was bored stiff. She took some pictures, but we were really ready for Sasha to return to take us to lunch.

We met back up with Fred and Lisa at a cafeteria restaurant in the center of town. These Ukrainians really like their cafeterias. They are a very popular and very inexpensive way to eat out…and pretty easy for those of us who don’t speak Russian…You can just kind of point at something, and they put it on a plate for you. Sveta has been very helpful in explaining what’s what so there are no major surprises!

Masha picked out some appropriate lunch foods, and then picked this giant tower of pink fluff on top of a cookie for dessert. She called it “Pieroshnoye.” It was the most vile pile of pink sugar….perfect choice for a kid. Fortunately, she had eaten enough for lunch (the biggest meal of the day for Ukrainians) that she got full about halfway through this monstrosity, and she abandoned it. At $0.26, we were OK with her not eating it all!

After lunch, we brought Masha back to our apartment to hang out for the afternoon. She learned how to play Blokus much quicker than I did, and after a couple of games, she asked to look at all the photos we had taken since we’d arrived. We showed her the photos of Kiev, and of her and her friends from our visit to the orphanage on Friday.

Since we had the laptop there, Mark skillfully sneaked a transition to Rosetta Stone for a quick English lesson. She did great at it until it got a little long and she got bored. She now knows how to say “The horse jumps” and “A ball on a boy.” Really useful stuff. Again.

We went outside to play on the playground outside our apartment, and Masha and I spent some time on the teeter-totter. Getting off, though, she slipped and broke the crystal on her watch. She wasn’t terribly upset, but she really wanted to go back inside, so we went back up, and watched about 20 minutes of Toy Story before it was time to take her back to the orphanage.

As we dropped her off, we were able to find one more of the kids for whom we had a gift. He was thrilled to open the package from his American family, and to hear Sveta read him the letter that they included. More hugs and photos, and he bolted back in to show his new stuff to his friends.

After saying our goodbyes, we went with Fred, Lisa and Sveta to the internet café for a quick check email check and then to Amstor. We were amazed that this place existed….Amstor is a grocery store on steroids, or a mini-Meijer. It’s a very very large grocery store with a little less than half the store dedicated to non-grocery items. You can get books, clothes, kitchen items, and CDs as well as fresh fruit, meat and fish, and of course, lots of sweets and liquor. Advice: Don’t worry about wasting any space in your luggage for any food items! We found pretty much anything we could want at Amstor.

Following Amstor, we went back to Papa Karlos’ cafeteria across from the university for a light dinner. I think we’ll be seeing a lot of that place!! Back at the apartment, we settled in and watched The Queen on the laptop and then went to bed.

We All Scream for Ice Cream

Friday, 18 May, 2007

Today was the day! Our train arrived right on time at 9:00 AM. We were met by two drivers; one for Fred and Lisa, the other for me and Mark. We both had so much luggage and the cars were both so small that Sveta barely fit in our car!

We dropped Fred and Lisa off at their apartment, and then drove to ours, about three miles away. The apartment here is very large, and comfortable(unlike the elevator, which *barely* holds three very friendly people. There are two bedrooms, an eat-n kitchen, and a separate living room with a piano and a flat panel TV. (Mark would be in heaven if we could find some English programming….we’ve been watching Russian VH1 all evening!)

We caught a quick shower, and met our driver downstairs. First we drove to the Notary’s office to have some documents prepared and signed to get started on our court petition; this formalized our request to adopt Masha. The facilitator and translator kept mixing the girls up, and talking to us about Khrystyna, and to Lisa and Fred about Masha! Instead of being switched at birth, we were joking that they were switched at the notary!

After the notary, we tried to visit the government’s social worker, who also needed to approve us before our paperwork could be finalized and turned in to the court. When we got there, we learned that the social worker had been called into a very important meeting, and that she would call us later in the day.

We went to Papa Karlos’ for lunch…a ccafeteria-style restaurant across from the University. The food was great, and it was pretty inexpensive. Also, since it’s cafeteria-style, you can just point at something, and they put it on a plate for you. Much easier than ordering from a menu.

Following lunch, Sveta tried the social worker again, but no luck. We all decided to go on over to the orphanage while we waited.

The nerves hit me about the time we pulled into the little parking lot in front of the building, and I recognized it from another family’s photos. We were ushered into a large room filled with plants, a fishtank, and a very loud bird. On our way in, we ran into Vika and Little Masha. It took us a couple of seconds to recognize Vika with her new haircut, but they were both doing great! I think Vika has been working on her English…she was very proud to answer our questions in English!

We waited for a little bit, saw Nataliya, the assistant director, and then were led to Ludmilla’s office. She brought in the orphanage doctor and social worker, and they shared some additional information with us about both girls. While this was going on, they also orchestrated a set of tasks that let us see some of the other children that had been identified as a good match.

After we spoke with Ludmilla for a while, there was a knock at the door, and when it opened, we saw Masha and Khrystyna. We ran over to them, and all kinds of hugging and kissing ensued.

We all went outside and walked around the grounds hand-in-hand for a while. Then one of Masha’s friends came out, and they pulled us around behind a little storage building to a box on the ground. Masha carefully lifted a piece of plywood from the top of the box to reveal a mama-cat and five baby kittens. They looked like they were abut 2 weeks old or so, and the kids were taking really good care of her. They all picked up the kittens and snuggled them and we took lots of pictures. It was so cute that I think Masha needs a cat. Mark does not share that opinion!

The girls had to go back inside for dance practice, and when they were done, we took them out for ice cream (with was VERY good) and we taught them “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.” But we had to return them to the orphanage by 6:00, so we cut the visit short and took them back. We gave each of the girls three packs of gum, and Masha also kept Sloanie (her elephant) and a can of Pringles. She also wanted to keep my flip book of her dance performance last summer to show all of her friends.

We said our goodbyes and “see you tomorrows” and then headed for the grocery store. The apartment that we are staying in does not include someone to cook for us, so we stocked up. I don’t think that many people were used to seeing a cart as full as ours was! I was even getting a little concerned that we might not have quite enough cash to cover the contents in our cart. I was relieved to see that they took Visa, but even more relieved that our cart full of groceries totaled only about $45! The same cart at home would have easily been twice that!

We got back to the apartment at about 7:30, put away all of our groceries, and heated up some cabbage rolls that we got at the store deli and then just chilled out.

Today was a great success. Masha has grown at least three inches…the pink camo pants we got her in the summer are now capris! But she is healthy and happy, and she’s wearing her glasses. She looks great, and she was very happy to see us.

The Train, The Train

Thursday, 17 March

Today, we didn’t have any real plans, so we took the opportunity to sleep in a little bit. And then a little turned into a lot.

We got up around 11:30, which left us just enough time to pack all of our stuff, eat lunch, and check email. Mark walked out to the grocery to pick up a few bottles of water and some snacks for the train.

At 3:00 on the dot, Zhana arrived with a new driver who would take us to the train station. She had thoughtfully prepared us a care package for the train, including sandwiches, apples, bottled water and diet coke, and some sweets for dessert…needless to say, we had plenty of food for the trip

We met Fred, Lisa, and Sveta at the train station with plenty of time to spare. Around 4:20, we boarded the train, and got settled into our compartment. Sasha had purchased eight beds (two full compartments) for us, but he wasn’t able to book them all in the same compartment…or car, for that matter. So he and Sveta went through good deal of trading so that both couples could have some privacy. At the current exchange rate, the train tickets ran us $130 per couple.

The train left on time, and we quickly learned that the compartment windows do not open, nor do they have any air conditioning…and it was HOT! On the other hand, the bathroom wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected (although I hear it got worse toward the end of the trip…I only braved it once, early on).

Each “bed” has a bedroll that sits on top of the bench seat, and they provide a sealed packet of sheets and pillowcases…not the softest in the world, but perfectly serviceable for a night. There are also blankets for the colder months…

Once the sun went down, the temperature in the compartment dropped to “fairly comfortable” and after a time, it got downright cold. My advice, wear comfortable layers that you can add and subtract as conditions change.

Mark and I set up the laptop (we brought several extra batteries) connected our headphones, and watched Night at the Museum. Then we snuggled down, I plugged in my iPod, and tried to sleep. We dozed in and out all night, but we got a lot more sleep than on the plane!

Dog Fight

Wednesday, 16 May

Wednesday at 11:00 AM was our scheduled appointment with the SDA; the State Department of Adoption and Protective Rights of Children. This is the first official step in our adoption activities, and without their approval, we would be headed back home without Masha…so it’s a very important step.

We got up early on Wednesday, made a cup of tea, checked email and uploaded the Tuesday blog entry. We showered and dressed for our SDA appointment (skirt and blouse for me, slacks and a shirt (no tie) for Mark. Our driver Sergei picked us up promptly at 9:30, and we got into downtown Kiev by 10:20.

There I a beautiful church next door to the SDA, so we walked around a bit and enjoyed the beautiful day. They say that May is the best time in Kiev, and I think I believe them. It was unusually warm (high 80’s the last could of days), but sunny and beautiful. The chestnut trees are all in bloom and they’re everywhere. They are gorgeous, but if you have allergies, be sure to bring antihistamines!

Just before 11:00, we went with our translator Sveta to stand outside the side door to the SDA to wait. They have a unique system. No lobby, no waiting room. At your appointment time, you stand outside in this little courtyard and wait for someone to come out and call your name. Can’t imagine doing it in winter or in the rain…..if you’re coming during inclement weather, be sure to dress appropriately and bring an umbrella!!

Tatiana, one of the SDA’s translators, came for us promptly at 11:00, and ushered us up a flight of stairs to a small office. She introduced us to the social worker in charge of preparing referrals, who confirmed that we had met Masha during a holiday hosting program last year, and checked a couple of details to be certain they had pulled the correct file. Then they told us that we had our referral, and that the paperwork would be ready for us the next day between 5 and 6.

After that, they asked us a couple of additional questions. They asked us if we had any contact with Masha since she had left, if we had sent letters, package, or had phone calls. We kept it simple but explained that we had sent letters and packages, and that we had recently received a phone number, and had spoken with her last week.

Then they asked if we had told her we were adopting her. That took us a bit by surprise; later Sasha, the leader of our facilitation team, told us he wasn’t aware of anyone being asked that question before. He seemed pleased with our answer, which was “We told her that we would like to, but that there were many steps and permissions we needed, but that we would try. We also asked her if she wanted to be adopted, and she told us yes.”

Note: those of you who are coming after us, please check with Sasha or you facilitator to followup on the *right* answer if you get asked this question…I understand that the connection between hosting and adoption is a very sensitive subject in Ukraine.

Overall, the workers at the SDA were very very nice, and seemed truly happy to be connecting us with our future daughter. They smiled a lot, and had a very gentle and kind look in their eyes.

After our appointment, we waited a bit for Sasha. We went with him on a couple of errands and then to an American-style coffee shop, where I had a CAPPUCINO! I was in heaven…coffee here is mostly Nescafe instant, so I’ve switched to tea for my caffeine buzz. While I was a little disappointed that the French press coffee wasn’t available, a triple cappuccino gave me a really nice fix.

After the coffee, we walked back to the car, and Sergei drove us back to the apartment. We spent the rest of the afternoon chilling out. We walked around a “flea market” area and to the neighborhood grocery to pick up some juice and snacks for the train trip. This was our first “on our own” adventure, and we made it through successfully.

The evening was uneventful until about 10:30 when we heard a huge ruckus on the sidewalk below the apartment. We heard a dog snarling and barking like crazy, and we hustled onto the balcony to see what was up. Our view was obstructed by a tree, but it sounded like quite a nasty dogfight. The funny thing….there were tons of people hanging around, but no one showed any concern until the owner of one of the dogs showed up. What happened next was unclear, but man grabbed the aggressor-dog and shouted very loudly and angrily. He yelled for a couple of minutes, then dragged the dog away down the street. We are still very unclear whether he was yelling at the people or the dog, or of what he was yelling, but it sure wasn’t sweetness and light!

The owner of the attackee-dog then gathered around his dog (a pretty mid-sized reddish-blonde long-haired dog). Someone brought a flashlight out so they could check to see if he was ok; apparently, he was, as they put his leash back on and he trotted off.

When everything settled down, we headed off to bed.

Huh?

Tuesday, 15 May

Mark to Christine: “Hey, honey, what time is it?”
Christine: “It’s 3:15”
Pause…Mark to Christine “Hey, honey, what did I just ask you?”
Christine: “You asked what time it was.”
Mark: “Uh, what did you say?”
Christine: “3:15.”
Mark: “Oh, OK, Thanks.”

We’re a little zoned out, but I think we’ve made the transition to Ukraine about as well as can be expected. we spent Tuesday in Kiev, getting a feel for the city.

We went to bed around 9:30 on Monday, dead tired. We both woke up about midnight, and decided it was time to put the sleeping pills we brought to a good test. One good night’s sleep would put us right on the Ukrainian time. We got up around 8:00 (we woke up before the alarm), made a cup of tea, and little triangular meat-pies and cheese slices that Zhana had left us for breakfast. We generally met the day ready to roll.

Sasha came by our apartment to pick us up at 10:00 AM, and Sergei, our driver for the day, was waiting downstairs. We quickly learned about traffic in Keiv…it rivals that of DC or LA in congestion. In addition, things like lines painted on roads are merely suggestions. In fact, curbs on sidewalks are merely suggestions as well. Ukrainians will pretty much drive or park wherever they feel like it. They still manage to avoid hitting each other or pedestrians, and they only seem to use their horns when danger is imminent. The exception is when traffic is completely stopped. Because honking your horn will certainly make everyone else in the traffic jam move faster.

Sasha dropped a couple of documents off, and then we headed off on Mission #1 for the day…getting our cell phone figured out. We tried three or four places to get our T-Mobile phone unlocked before we gave up and bought a new phone…$60 bought us a perfectly good LG phone with color display and Sudoku games built-in! Another $20 for a SIM card got us going. The per-minute charge is not too bad, and it’s got free incoming calls….so we’re in business!

We met up with Fred and Lisa for lunch at a pizzeria above Independence Square that had menus in English. They had a lot of different California-style pizzas; Mark and I had one that had a garlic sauce with ham and kidney beans on it. It looked weird (and really was nothing like what we thought we ordered) but it was very tasty. We got out of there for around $8.

We walked through the underground mall, where we saw a man carrying a monkey dressed like a kid. We couldn’t get our camera out fast enough to get a picture, but it was pretty funny. From there, we walked up a San Francisco-type hill to St. Sofia’s Cathedral. We paid 2 grivna (the Ukrainian currency) to walk around the beautiful grounds, where Sasha gave us a brief history lesson.

Then we walked a few blocks to St. Michael’s Cathedral, which was finished about 7 years ago. The inside walls and ceiling of the building were decorated with beautiful paintings of various saints. Just beyond St. Michael’s was a large park perched on top of a hill overlooking much of Kiev and its suburbs. The view was beautiful, and it really gave a perspective of this city of 3 million people.

After the park, we met back up with Sergei and drove to the internet café near our apartment where we managed to quickly upload Monday’s blog and check email. Thanks again to all of you who have expressed your encouragement and prayers! Keep ‘em coming!!! It’s really uplifting to hear from each one of you!

Sergei dropped Sasha, Mark and I back at the apartment, where we quickly checked our laptop and then walked to the local grocery store to pick up pastries, beer, and an access card for about 10 hours of dial-up internet service. Sasha came back with us, got it working, and then left us on our own. Mark got connected and called home with Skype. There was a bit of a delay, but it worked pretty well.

Zhana brought us dinner of fish and rice at 7:00, and then we settled into bed, shared a Ukrainian beer called “Black” (very yummy dark beer), watched a movie, and fell asleep

The Road Warriors

Monday, 14 May

Sunday and Monday pretty much ran together….It’s Monday evening in Kiev as I draft this, and Mark and I are both running on about an hour and a half of sleep since yesterday morning.

Around 11:00 on Sunday morning, the Maxwell clan stopped by to see us off, and Mark’s parents came about 11:15 to take us to the airport. After many pictures, the guys piled all the luggage into the car, and we were off! We arrived at the Fort Wayne airport a little more than an hour before our flight, checked our bags, and breezed through security.

We traveled with our friends Fred and Lisa, who have their SDA (Ukrainian adoption department) appointment at the same time as us, and it was wonderful to be able to travel with them! We sat near enough to chat on the 25 minute flight from Fort Wayne to Detroit, and our flight arrived early enough to spare a few minutes to have an Einstein Brothers bagel for lunch. Mark predicts that this will likely be the most expensive meal of our trip!

Our flight from Detroit to Amsterdam left at 4:00 in the afternoon, and Lisa, Fred, Mark and I occupied the center row of the A330. Northwest did right by us…these planes are equipped with the most awesome on-demand media system! Gone are the days of stretching to see the little TV monitor hanging from the ceiling in the aisle. Each seat had it’s own independently controlled monitor, with a good selection of music, a wide variety of movies, and even some games. Mark watched The Painted Vail, and I watched Pan’s Labrynth (because everyone needs to read subtitles when they’re dead tired...but I really enjoyed it). Of course we both tried to sleep, but were not successful.

The flight was a little over 7 hours, and we landed in Amsterdam early, with plenty of time to make our connection, particularly since we did not have to go through immigration. The KLM flight from Amsterdam to Kiev was uneventful; the only exceptional piece of it was that they really seemed intent on feeding us until we exploded. They served a fabulous breakfast with a huge portion of kiwi yogurt, bread and cheese, fruit smoothies, a granola bar, and then they passed around candy bars!

We landed in Kiev completely burned out. Fortunately, we had reserved VIP service to breeze us through immigration and customs, and Alex worked very efficiently to keep us moving and get us out of there, although he was very bold when asking for a tip! He did find Natasha and Igor, our translator and driver for the day from The Stork. They arranged to have a bag delivered for one of our friends, and then drove us across town to our Kiev apartment.

We drove around the outskirts of the city, and the countryside reminded us a lot of Indiana. Their trees are about a week behind ours, but most have leaves on now, and the day was sunny and warm. As we entered the city, we were both struck by the contrast between very nice new buildings and the older buildings…many look very run-down, with patched siding tile and exposed wiring. The apartment building that we are staying in is in better shape than many, but still has some elements that we wouldn’t expect to see in the US; it has an elevator, but it’s very tiny and it has seen better days, and most of the mailbox doors are bent and won’t lock anymore. I almost whacked my head on one as I walked though the hallway in a daze.

In Kiev, we are staying in a one-room apartment that seems to be typical to Ukraine. There is one main room, with a pull-out couch, and then an eat-in kitchen, a water-closet with the toilet, and a bath room, with the sink and tub/shower. We have a great view of a soccer stadium from our balcony, so I do hope they play a game while we’re here!

Zhana, our hostess, is staying with a neighbor, and comes in each day to make lunch and dinner for us. This evening, she brought her beautiful granddaughter along, who informed us proudly that she was four years old! For lunch, she made us pan-fried chicken with fried potatoes and a plate of sliced tomatoes, cucumber, radish, and green pepper. For dinner were fried pork thingies (kind of like flat carnitas, Sammy!) and homemade mashed potatoes and a salad. They were delicious, but I can tell that this trip is not going to help the diet!

Once we had dropped our bags, we walked around the neighborhood with Natasha to get our bearings, exchange some money, and try to get our cellphone working. We accomplished the first two items, but unlocking the T-Mobile cell phone we brought with us might take a couple extra steps. We did learn that there is not an internet café within walking distance of our apartment, so I’m writing this offline, and hope to upload it tomorrow when we can get connected. As soon as we got back to the apartment, we took a short nap, unpacked and reorganized our bags for the next leg of the trip (no longer worrying about the risk of losing a bag; now worried about *finding* things!).

Overall, we are very tired, but we are safe and happy. We are much closer to Masha now, and we will see her on Friday!