Quitter, Unpacked

Well, it's a bit of an overstatement to actually say it's unpacked. Perhaps the title should actually be "Follow My Process of Unpacking The Quitter Conference Through The Overwhelming Sense of Being Slammed in the Face With a Firehose of Wisdom and Practical Advice." But I don't think too many people would read that. Which is OK since I'm posting this for me anyway.

About a month ago, I attended Jon Acuff's Quitter Conference in Nashville. One of the coolest things (and easiest) that Jon advised was to compile a Quitter Soundtrack....YAY! Day 1: DONE!!

1. Catchafire - TobyMac
2. Starry-Eyed Surprise - Paul Oakenfold
3. Lift Me Up - Moby

OK, I have a soundtrack. Now I'm a real writer. Right?

Well, no, but.....as Jon says, "not only does a soundtrack pick you up, and energize, inspire, and encourage, but relating to song lyrics really can connect you in a visceral way to other creatives (unless you choose Milli Vanilli for your soundtrack. I don't know what that would say about you). Someone else sat in their own hustle-time and wrote that song. They felt those lyrics. And when the lyrics connect with exactly what I'm feeling, that's deep, man. Deep."

Over the past month, I've been gradually unpacking the conference in my head. So much content, so much value:

• The truthy things, like dreams take hard work, long hours, and sacrifice.


• The "what can I do RIGHT NOW" things, like make a soundtrack and spew words every day, good or bad, from my fingers into little dots of colored light. Scheduling daily time to hustle--put in the hard work and start producing.


• The tactical things, like scheduling posts and finding the *right* level of planning...somewhere between "stepping out in faith" (like Philip and the Ethiopian) and building a 72-step project plan with triple critical paths (like, uh, me).


• The "business-ey" things, like advice about building a platform and an amazing discussion by Ben Arment about hitting the Sweet Spot in the middle of passion, gifts, platform, and demand.


• The creative and inspirational things, like stories about how Jon got fired from the carnival where he didn't even really work, and discussion about the support that each of us needs to be the best that we can be....

As I fished back through 23 pages of notes, and a 40-page workbook, I realized I could spend another three months of "hustle-time" just unpacking each section, pulling out writing prompts and action items and inspiring quotes to stencil on my office wall.

But then I realized that's not what hustle-time is really for; those things are all a trap set for me by that bully, fear. They are distractions.

"Match the right energy level to the right activity" means that when I try to pick through notes or fix itunes or listen to the dog begging to go out for the ninetyseventh time, I'm falling prey to the fear of producing. That's just me.

My morning hustletime MUST be about writing. Ink on paper. Pixels on a screen. Watch the word count and keep the fingers moving until it hits 550. (i do really love you, wordpress....)

Because if I don't produce, I'm not a writer.

"Dreamers are a dime a dozen; do-ers are rare." I will be a do-er.

(and i need four more words...)

Thin is in

I saw this photo recently and just wanted to throw up. (Ironic, huh?)

My girls have a unique balance of confidence and insecurity. I'm incredibly proud of both of them and of how often they manage to stand firm on their convictions, whether their peers agree or not. But other times, they are just as sucked in as everyone else. Thin sucks them in.

My girls have known what it's like to not have enough food.

We've been lucky. Neither of the girls has food-hoarding issues that so often come from years of living without. But it took quite a while for either of them to realize that as long as they ate dinner, they could pretty much eat whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.

We keep well-stocked with reasonably healthy snacks and foods, plus the occasional bag of chips or cookies. Given the opportunity, of course, they would eat through a bag of chips like a pack of wild dogs...but in the absence, they don't complain, they just crank open a can of tuna.

So when Masha started eating half-portions of things, and Lena started complaining "I'm fat," I was a little surprised. More than a little. And despite doctors' assertions that they are both a perfectly healthy weight, both girls now battle with the insecurity that photos like this one shove in their faces.

The desire for "thin" has endured for too long. I don't think I've spoken to one person that thinks this is OK...so why the canyon between what we know to be right and what the media feeds us?

Are we that susceptible to the very marketers that prey on our insecurities? Seems that the fashion and the diet industries both profit, while our girls (and guys too) suffer and sometimes even die. How is that OK?

I have no illusion that I and the 12 readers of this blog can stomp into the Office of the Minister of High Fashion Marketing and say "stop this" and they will stop. Greater writers on much greater platforms than this have spoken out against this. News outlets around the world have done pieces. Everyone is informed.

Yet we still buy skinny jeans for our kids, Mattel still manufactures a Barbie with anatomically impossible proportions, Gap still stands up mannequins that couldn't stand up by themselves if they were live people.

Do you think the mother and her baby starving in Somalia think this is fashionable?

Moonlight

The backyard glows a soft white; crisp shadows lean in from an unfamiliar direction. Every bush, every flower, every tree shines.

The first time I remember noticing moonlight, I think I was about four. I woke in the middle of the night and crept to the bathroom. Well, I probably didn't creep; four-year-olds aren't the best at creeping. I probably ran into three walls, slammed a couple of doors, woke my parents up, and tripped over a dog or two. Memories sometimes trick us like this, so I all I remember is the silence.

As I sneaked through the hallway, a sparkle from the living room caught my eye. I expected darkness, but a bright blue-white light flooded through the windows and came to rest in long patches on the worn carpet. My mom's crystal ashtray captured the moonbeams and held them hostage, releasing tiny focused twinkles while casting a dark shadow where the rainbows should have been.

Every object in the room glowed in the blue light. Bright and dark, gentle and strong. My eyes wide and sensitive, the contrast felt sharper than sunlight on the brightest day.

But most striking was the peace. In the stillness of the room, I felt the moment stop. The beauty of a simple room, in a simple house, seen in a new light.

This image returns to me from time to time. The same snapshot in my memory, the same angle, the crisp line between light and shadow stretching across the living room carpet. It's an image of peace. From before.

So this morning, stumbling into the kitchen to make coffee, the moonlight splayed across the deck captured me again. It carried me back to crouch beside that vulnerable four-year-old me and for a moment let her peace wash over me the same way the moonlight washed across the living room floor.

Moses, on Quitting

It's been a rough week at work....month...face it, it's been a rough season.

There are a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with me. But I'm not arrogant enough to believe that I'm wholly blameless either. I let my intuition grasp a situation in a split second, and then rather than hand it off to my brain to figure out, process, and present reasonably, my emotion just runs off with the idea all half cocked and charges at the windmill. This is not a good thing. There have been many days when I just wanted to throw in the towel...say that's it, i'm done.

But what I'm learning in Jon Acuff's Quitter as well as from other leadership and dream chasing gurus is: it's not time to quit yet. It won't be time to quit for a long time.

I give a lot to my current job (sometimes too much), but I get a lot in return. The work is interesting and challenging. I enjoy making order out of chaos. I am inspired by leading a team, and by inspiring them to find new ways to solve problems. I am proud of the idea that we're standing up a system that will help a global organization communicate and deliver services more effectively.

I love the people I work with....well, most of them. And the ones I don't love, yeah, those are the ones Jesus says to love anyway.

But these aren't the reasons that I need to stay.

I need to stay because my dream is still brewing. It's dripping slowly through the locally roasted, coarsly burr-ground sumatran-blend that will taste oh, so good when it's done. But it would taste like mud if I got impatient, poured it into the cup right this instant and took a big swig.

It's not my time yet. I've been hustling for exactly 12 days now. And I took two of them off. so....um, that's more like 10. I need to practice. I need to make mistakes. I need to develop focus and discipline. I need to let God know I'm serious.

Moses didn't lead the Israelites out of Egypt ten days after he showed up. It took a little longer. Sure they were miserable. Yeah, the locusts and blood and stuff, not such a great week, or month, or season for all of them. But he didn't just say "Well Pharoah, dude, I'm over this, I'm done, I quit......all of y'all Israelites, it's been nice, and I wanted to take you somewhere, but yeah, I'm a little pissed now, so I'm heading on back."

Nope. He stuck it out. He let God work through him where he was. And what awesome work it was.

What do you need to learn while you chase your dream???

What I learned from dog vomit

As a dog returns to its vomit.....

....so a fool repeats his folly.

I saw this verse on Twitter recently (Prov 26:11 for those who are playing along at home).

At first, I laughed. Because, well, vomit is kinda funny. Unless it's on your frisee rug. Or under the dinner table. Both places where we've experienced the special awesomeness of dog vomit in the last month, by the way.

Then comes the image of the dog actually coming back to it. We've all seen that. The idea that a dog's mouth is the cleanest place? Not buying that. I've seen what my dog puts in his mouth.

And there's the inevitability of it. The dog just plain can't help himself. He *can't* stay away from that tempting pile of goodness. And that, my friends, is the point. We know it's not goodness. It's puke. Maybe it used to be yummy super-premium dog food. But not anymore.

Now, it's nasty. It's the stuff that makes other people need to puke when they see it. Or smell it. But the dog comes back to it anyway. And tries to eat it.

And that's what Solomon is trying to tell us about us, too. AS a dog returns...SO a fool repeats his folly. Let me repeat that last bit. So a fool repeats his folly.

Now, I don't think i'm a fool. So this must not apply to me, right? But you know what? Merriam-Webster defines folly as "lack of good sense or normal prudence and foresight." I've displayed plenty of that.

I keep doing things that aren't good for me (or anyone else for that matter). I do the same things over and over, expecting different results. I cling to approaches and situations that would be best cleaned up, tossed in the garbage and hauled away.

I have vomit in my life. Less than i had 20 years ago, sure. But it's there. And it's time for me to clean it up.

What is your vomit?

Is it that time already??

School starts today.

In less than an hour, they will both board a bus to the High School.

Today, they embark on a new season of classes and homework, of football games, of friends and opportunities and choices. They seek independence, yet the glue is still drying between us as a family.

For kids raised outside their family of origin, or in a family with significant trauma or dysfunction, it's harder to grow the bonds of trust and to learn to rely on others. It's harder for them to understand the balance of love and authority. It's harder to grasp the trust that lies within teamwork.

Our family is lucky. Blessed. Our girls have both experienced deep hurts and loss, but they know the love and grace of Jesus. It's difficult for them to fully understand the depth of God's love, or the extent to which He is there for us, but if we're honest with ourselves, who among us truly gets that? Not many.

So for this school year, for this day, my prayer is for two scared and excited girls to experience the amazing plans God has crafted just for them, to learn and grow into the amazing women God has formed them to be, and to rise above the distractions and temptations of culture to focus on God's instruction for us...to love as Jesus loved, to give as Jesus gave, and to serve as Jesus served.

Guess that's my prayer for all of us.....

Book Review: Adopt Without Debt by Julie Gumm

"There is not one example in the Bible of God calling someone to do something and then using debt as a tool to accomplish it." - Dave Ramsey

These words slammed Julie Gumm in 2007, just as she and her husband Mark embarked on a journey to adopt a sibling pair, aged six and eight from Ethiopia.

The gazelle-intensity learned in Financial Peace University provided Julie and Mark the practical foundation for living debt-free and financial freedom to serve others. With these tools and faith in God's provision, Julie and Mark committed to adopt their children without borrowing a penny.

The first two questions asked by any prospective adoptive parent are "where do I start?" and "how much will it cost?"...the unfortunate truth is that with the market tanking and our national credit rating taking a hit, finances are a real challenge in our society. Our personal financial situation impacts our sense of freedom to follow God's calling, but our God is HUGE and He will partner with us to provide when we commit to doing things His way.

Julie tells a story of just that. Gazelle intensity and hard work brought Julie and Mark out of a debt that, if left to grow, would have held them back from the future plans God had for them. Once their slavery to debt was cut free, God provided ministry opportunities to Julie and Mark that reduced their family income dramatically. Still, they heard his call to adopt and knew that He would provide.

But Julie doesn't stop with just sharing her story. Much of her book is dedicated to teaching about finding grants and maximizing the money gained from selling your "stuff." Further, Julie shares step-by-step guides to holding fundraisers and engaging your wider community of family and friends to help in creative ways.

With this engaging book, Julie has destroyed the excuse of "it costs too much to adopt." God calls us to care for the widow and the orphan. While He's unlikely to airdrop a pallet of cash in the back yard, He provides by sharing battle plans through people like Julie.

Adoption can be expensive, but it doesn't have to lead to debt. Julie and Mark Gumm's story is proof, and her easy-to-read, practical advice will help any family achieve their own commitment to a debt-free adoption.

To learn more about Julie and her adoption journey, visit her blog here.

Beating the Bully, Fear

Last week, I attended an amazing conference presented by Jon Acuff, satirist and creator of StuffChristiansLike.net. Jon's new project, "Quitter," is the story of how he transformed his life of serial job-hopping (eight jobs in eight years) into his dream job as a best-selling author and speaker with the Dave Ramsey organization. But more than that, Jon shared practical steps to replicate that transformation for any dream.

Just as one day was not enough to share all the lessons Jon has to offer, one blog post could never include all the takeaways (although other participants have provided wonderful recaps! ). But several of his points meshed seamlessly into this season of my life, starting with naming your dream and facing your fears.

For me, I've always known that writing filled me up. Writing has provided the moments when I have felt the most peace and the greatest accomplishment. I even feel good about editing a rockin' email for a friend. Family, friends and coworkers have all encouraged me. You read me. While this doesn't make me Stephenie Meyer or J. K. Rowling, I do have at least a couple fans that aren't my mom.

Despite knowing this, though, it's been crazy hard for me to find my voice and share it consistently. Last weekend, I learned how to stand up to the bully named "fear" that wants to silence this voice. Jon picked that bully into little pieces and blew him out of the room for me. When he tries to come back, Jon taught me and 180-some other people to slam the door in his face like a door-to-door window salesman. For me, for now, that rocks.

Now that the bully is gone, it's up to me to act. to experiment. to give myself permission to fail gloriously at something that matters rather than to avoid failure by doing nothing at all. This means that you're going to be hearing more from me. I hope to hear from you too....

Post a comment if fear is stopping you from taking a step toward your dream?

Happy Birthday, Masha

Today, Masha turns seventeen. That’s with a one and a seven. Yeah, 17.

Now before all of you leave a million comments saying “How can that be? Mark and Christine look barely thirty themselves,” or “Has it been that long?” or “Hmm, I think we’re out of coffee….,” let me say this: it really was just yesterday when we met Masha. At least it was just yesterday in “God Years.”

Masha first stepped into our lives in the middle of a a hot August night, five years ago. Since that time, we’ve watched her grow from a tiny, scared, hurt little girl into a gorgeous, vibrant, bold young woman destined to thrive and change the world.

People told us we were crazy, jumping into the teen years and hormones and craziness with no experience. But as we have wrapped gifts and put another candle on her cake, I am awed by the life impacts that she is already making.

If it wasn’t for Masha, we would never have met and adopted Lena. I don’t even want to imagine what her future would have been. While her character is strong, the opportunities for her in Ukraine were nothing compared to where she can go and what she can do now. And it was through Masha’s love that we fell in love with Lena.

That’s not all. She has already participated in two short-term mission trips…that’s two more than I did in the first half of my life. She has allowed our pastor to use a video of her adoption story to inspire and encourage others at our church. She challenges and changes Mark and me daily. She makes me a better me.

Right now, our culture is so caught up in conflict and debate, focused on the problems of the day, of economy and war, of materialism and arrogance. These things are real and the deserve our constructive attention, but too often they blind us to the joy and love that is present in the most surprising places; they blind us from the way God works through unexpected situations and hurting people. Who ever would have thought that a scared little 12-year-old Ukrainian kid could bring such bold love to a country that “has it all?” But she did.

I can’t wait to see what the next five years brings! Happy Birthday, Masha! We love you!